Unqualified Advice

I came across an advice column with an impressive pedigree, but advice I thought wasn\’t just suspect, but downright damaging.

 

  

DEAR MARGO: My husband, \”Sean,\” and I have been married for eight and a half years and known each other for nine. Almost two years ago, my husband was on a business trip a few states away from where we live. He and a few friends went to a strip club to drink and watch the strippers strut their stuff.

Then another thing occurred that has me a bit riled up. He paid to go into the back room and get a private \”strip/lap dance.\” The problem I have is that my husband claims that while this stripper was on his lap, all they did was talk about their families. For some reason I doubt that a man would pay $100 for a private lap dance just to talk about his family with a stripper.

That night he called me and told me about what had transpired and swore that nothing had happened other than a naked woman who was not me sat on his lap. Am I overreacting, or should I threaten him that if I find out from his \”friends\” that there was more going on than talking, there will be hell to pay? — DESPERATE TO GET OVER MY FRUSTRATION

DEAR DES: What is it with these lap dances? Yours is not the first letter I\’ve gotten from a furious wife. I think it is highly unlikely any of his \”friends\” will rat him out, but I would tell him that you don\’t for a minute believe his version, and for his sake, you hope there are no more outings involving naked ladies and his lap.

I do not know exactly how this happened, but it is becoming common for businessmen to entertain clients and each other in strip clubs. I find it tacky and declasse. — Margo, traditionally

Anyone who did a lick of research (or even watched an episode of Dateline NBC) would know that more often than not, that\’s exactly what men are looking for and will to pay a lot of money for, someone to talk to.  Not every backroom in every strip club is a front for a brothel (unfortunately).  Also, it\’s quite nice that Margo gives the adivce that this is an us vs. them situation where his friends won\’t \”rat him out\”, and that he must be lying.  To me it sounds like a guy who went to a strip club with a bunch of friends, felt guilty about it afterwards, and tried to confess the truth to clear his conscience.  Maybe it was wrong for him to go, maybe it was wrong for him to pay to go to the back room.  But isn\’t it more likely that his version of events is accurate? 

Maybe if Margo had done a lick of research before responding with venom she could have helped mend a relationship instead of pouring gasoline on the fire.