If you\’ve come to this page, more than likely you\’ve clicked on the wrong link. But on the off chance that you intentionally came here to find out more about me, I suppose I should share a few petty details.

I love dark chocolate, and find it vastly superior to most any milk chocolate. I will not argue this! It is an immutable fact of my universe, which you have chosen to visit.

I also am quite fond of ketchup, not catsup, which is an abomination. While I adhere to many of the tenents of capitalism (but not all), I believe the Heinz Corporation should have a complete monopoly on the production of ketchup, and no other alternatives should exist, throughout the world. For example, I grew quite despondent during a recent trip to Australia and New Zealand when I was unable to obtain real Heinz ketchup. Much like parts of Europe, they have what they call \”tomato sauce\” that fries (or chips) are dipped into. Imagine if you will tomato paste mixed with vinegar until it is a thin sloppy mess… I… I can\’t talk about it any more, it\’s too upsetting.

I like dogs. You could say I am a dog person. Not that my DNA has splices of canine in it, but that I prefer dogs to fish. I have two dogs. I don\’t need you to tell me how freakin\’ adorable they are, but thank you.

I am an introverted people person. I like to keep busy, as long as I can do it from my couch. I am a lazy overachiever. I resist change, but quickly grow tired of the status quo. People like myself are more common than I\’d like to think.

I have a good friend who is also named Wade. Which many people think would be very confusing. It isn\’t. When I speak of Wade, I am obviously referring to him. When he speaks of Wade, he is obviously referring to himself. He is quite the egomaniac.

I have reached the age where certain popular trends are just lost on me. For example, the return of the 80s in the fashion world. Nothing looks more ridiculous than a pack of young women wearing sunglasses that are so large they can be seen from behind and sweaters that hang off one shoulder.

I have been to 17 countries on 4 continents and 33 states — circa 2006… more like 20+ countries, and a couple more states…

I was born in Spamtown USA

…and I\’m not ashamed to admit it.