No, YOU\’RE a Club!

Ok, bad joke. You\’ll see.

A little preface. Weak stream. Urgent need to go. Incomplete emptying. These days it seems you can\’t watch a sporting or news channel without hearing how men, basically, can\’t hold it in. A fact that assuredly isn\’t helped by all that beer and coffee and watermelon consumption. I find the commercials annoying, but the product I\’m about to show you is nothing short of offensive.

Presenting: The UroClub (apparently TM).

I say this without hyperbole: this is the dumbest thing I\’ve ever seen. I\’m almost offended more as a golfer than just as a man (though I\’m offended on behalf of my gender, too). First of all, I have never played on a golf course that didn\’t have at least one porta-john per nine holes, and many have two per. Second of all, you\’re on a freakin\’ golf course! If waiting just absolutely is not an option, you duck behind a tree, or hell behind your golf cart, and take a whiz, and no one\’s gonna know. On the other hand, if you use this thing, peeing into it is the only possible thing you could be doing. You\’re not going to take any kind of realistic practice swing with it, trust me. And no one puts a towel over their hands to take a practice swing. And I\’m trying desperately not to visualize how most of the old duffers who really need this are going to manipulate their fly discreetly enough to do anything but add to the carnival atmosphere of using this thing.

To top it all off, when you\’re done, you\’ve got a fake plastic golf club filled with urine! That\’s fun at parties, I\’m sure. If the inventor of this product is making any money at all, it\’s a crime against everyone\’s better judgement.

(h/t to Deadspin, where at least Christmas Ape managed to turn a Seinfeld reference dirty.)



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5 responses to “No, YOU\’RE a Club!”

  1. anderswa Avatar

    only $49.95!! btw, the capacity of over half-a-liter is billed as more than any man would need. apparently wadE v. wasn’t part of their pilot group.

  2. Explosive Bombchelle Avatar

    Wouldn’t a widemouthed soda bottle work just as well and then have the added bonus of being thrown out in the nearest trash?

  3. alex Avatar

    Yes, another solution that’s better than the completely idiotic one that’s for sale.

  4. anderswa Avatar

    or, theoretically, a widemouth glass juice bottle that could be thrown out at the latest driveway. just theoretically, of course.

  5. wadE Avatar

    but Alex, what about your typical Arizona golfer? there’s no trees around at all… maybe a sizable sagebrush, but there’s just no other option!!!
    and yes, they obviously did not keep me in mind when doing their proof of concept. although to accommodate my pee, they golf club would have to look ridiculous to… wait… nevermind…

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