delusions of grandeur

pick your favorite:

bobby brown is convinced that osama bin laden is obsessed with killing him, and will actually carry out the act when the formerly relevant crooner tours australia this month. why? a recently released report says that the OBL is in love with whitney houston– therefore, it makes sense to take out her ex-husband, yeah? i\’m not sure why OBL would be that infatuated with whitney. maybe he\’s never been able to get \”how will i know\” out of his head? perhaps he\’s a huge fan of the bodyguard? or maybe, if you\’ve been living in caves long enough, even batsh!t crazy women seem attractive. who knows. oh, for the record, i would like to give bobby b. a swift kick in the groin as payback for my purchasing this in 1989. just sayin\’.

daunte culpepper, in describing his recent conflict with and subsequent release by the miami dolphins, compares himself to gandhi.

\”As I was going through this process I heard about a quote by Gandhi that best expresses my thoughts about this victory: \’First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win,\’\” Culpepper, who serves as his own agent, said in an e-mail. \”Now that I have won my freedom and I get to choose my next team, I am just like many other people who have to go out and find employment so that I can take care of my family.\”

i often get the two confused, to be honest. i hope this helps us all:

Occupation Quarterback Political and Spiritual Leader
Residence Florida mansion Ashram
Hard Luck Tearing ACL, MCL, and PCL Assassination
Finances Accumulated tens of millions in contracts and endorsements Embraced simplicity, often returning gifts given to him
Signature Move Arm roll Tyranny through Civil Disobedience







4 responses to “delusions of grandeur”

  1. Brian Scott Avatar

    I have never heard Bobby Brown referred to as a ‘crooner’. Interesting choice.

  2. alex Avatar

    Now that Brian has said exactly what I wanted to say, I’ll have to go to the backup joke, and say that if OBL wants to off Mr. Brown, that would be… wait for it… his prerogative. Thank you.

  3. wadE Avatar

    ahem… boooooooo!!!!!

    maybe the CIA should use Whitney to lure OBL (btw – I have NEVER seen Osama abbreviated as OBL and it just blows my mind (or maybe I’m drunk)… it also makes me think of ODB (Ol’ Dirty Bastard) but I digress) out of hiding in Pakistan … lastly, in Daunte’s defense, he didn’t compare himself to Ghandi, just borrowed a quote. at this rate I bet they both end their lives in poverty….

  4. anderswa Avatar

    OBL is all me, baby. i’m a trend-setter. and it certainly sounded to me like he was comparing his plight to gandhi, but i *am* drunk– so what do i know. 😉

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