things to do in hartford when it\’s dead

greetings from the corporate offices of HealThyself Health Group in minnetonka. i spent nearly all of last week in beautiful hartford, connecticut, meeting with other folks on the HealThyself team. (see the two buildings in the far right in this picture. oooh- you can see my hotel [mariott] in that shot as well.) hartford was nice. a little saint paul-like in that the downtown was clean, contained, and seemed to close up shop at 8 p.m. each night. however, i\’m not much of a traveler, so my review of a city is basically worthless.

how about a fun airport security story, though?

let me begin by saying that there are very few things that cause me more anxiety than going through airport security. i am constantly checking to make sure my pockets are empty, my shoes are off, my phone is powered down, my boarding pass is out, my driver\’s license isn\’t on the floor… you get the idea. then throw in having to have all of my toiletry gels (great band name, btw) in a ziploc for presenting to the agent… oy. i needed a drink.

ANYways. the trip out was– for the most part– hassle free. flew with a laptop for the first time, but i\’d seen the routine before (take the computer out of the bag, have it scanned separately) that i only freaked out a small amount. no problems, though. on the way back, i did my typical freaking out, walked through the metal detector without issue, started putting my shoes and watch back on, when i was asked by one of the agents if he could look further in my laptop bag. i smoothly answered \”certainly,\” assuming any other sort of response would land me in the airport clink at best, at worst in john ashcroft\’s basement.

acting cool, i watched as the agent removed a small white plastic sack from my laptop bag. the thought running through my head? I HAVE NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE IN MY LIFE. oddly, the filter was working that day so i didn\’t actually *say* that. the agent slowly removes a 3 ounce bottle marked \”hand lotion\” and a one ounce tube marked \”toothpaste.\”

agent: [deadpan] \”any reason why you weren\’t going to tell us about these?\”

our hero: (gulps) \”oh, those! i forgot i had even put those *in* there. you know what? you can just throw those away. i\’ve got extra at home.\”

agent: (grunts)

so. i\’m banking on the option that it belonged to whomever had the laptop bag before me and both i and the MSP security agents didn\’t come across it. the other option is a little scary to think about, really.







2 responses to “things to do in hartford when it\’s dead”

  1. sparklegirl Avatar

    Wow — not fun. And — oddly — the airport security at Hartford is for real. I was out there for work a few years ago and I swear, they nearly tackled my very mild-mannered co-worker to the ground because of a metal barrette in her up-do. She was terrified. I had to buy her several vodka tonics at the bar near the gate to help her recover.

  2. wadE Avatar

    I’ve got one from the Hartford airport as well. The only gel/liquid I had was a small bottle of hand lotion from the hotel I stayed at (it was winter, and my hands were dry, give me a break). Anyway, it was in my laptop bag and when I got to the line I remembered it, but didn’t have a ziploc bag for it. So I just put it in one of the small xray conveyer belt containers they have. Get to the other side and the idiot TSA agent (I better type fast now, the feds will be after me) sees it, picks it up, asks me if it is mine, I say yes, he tells me it is supposed to be in a ziploc bag and promptly throws it away. I was so f-in’ dumbfounded I almost made a scene, but since it was just a bottle of hand lotion I didn’t…but it’s the principle of the matter… you know?

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