PCP: Cocktails

This week, Alex and Wade take on another hard-hitting topic for Point-Counterpoint: when presented with an extended evening of drinking, what cocktail do you choose? While none of us have to worry about this as much as we did, say, five or ten years ago, it still comes up from time to time. And, as always, we\’re here to help.

Beer? Tequila shots? Boxed wine? Let\’s find out.


great question. over the years, i\’ve had different answers.

1994-mid\’98: Pig\’s Eye Lean (not a fan of the new branding but i couldn\’t find any images of the old look)
mid\’98-\’99: captain morgan & coke
\’99-\’03: jim beam & diet coke
\’04: vodka and pink lemonade crystal light (shut it)
\’05: captain morgan & diet coke
\’06: white russian

yes, alcohol and i share a rich and varied history. anyway, there\’s a new kid on the block, one that sara and i discovered this past summer at a wedding reception in podunk, wisconsin. the cocktail in question: brandy old-fashioned (sweet). note that the \”sweet\” part is a requirement when ordering it somewhere; i believe i left that out when ordering at kieran\’s recently, and it tasted like spoiled gasoline. when made correctly, the ingredients are:

  • 1 oz brandy
  • 4/5 drops bitters
  • 7-Up (i use diet) (of course)
  • splash of grenadine
  • teaspoon of suger (optional)

yeah, it\’s probably not what justin timberlake orders when he\’s out clubbing. but it\’s probably butcher than a white russian. as my former co-worker aeric exclaimed when i ordered the old-fashioned instead of my typical caucasian at kieran\’s last month: \”wow, you\’ve graduated from an old-lady drink to an effeminate old-man drink.\” so be it. it\’s yummy, not heavy, and not too powerful that it gets a person going too fast. perfect for an extended evening of imbibationary activities.


I\’m a very simple man when it comes to my alcohol. I like Guinness. I like Surly. But I don\’t typically enjoy drinking a lot of beer all in one go. It\’s hard to argue with the elegant simplicity of a Jack and Coke. Or any of the generic variants including the house whiskey and whatever cola is on hand. In the past year or so I\’ve been known to engage in a night of drinking Seven and Sevens.

All of the above are good choices.

I think though, for a night of binging, you almost have to choose a good vodka drink. Trouble is, you can\’t go with the screwdriver – too acidic. Not quite as bad with a sour, but still not good enough. I will admit that I love a good Melon Ball, but that\’s both acidic and effeminate.

No, I think the answer here is clear, and frankly I\’m surprised Wade hasn\’t mentioned it already.

I give you: The Vodka Gimlet.

Yes, the very drink that caused Wade to pour a beer on Matty at the Twins home opener some years ago. Elegant in its simplicity – just two ounces of vodka and a half-ounce of lime juice. Use a good vodka, and sip your way into oblivion.






2 responses to “PCP: Cocktails”

  1. anderswa Avatar

    yes, but my exposure to gimlets has been strictly limited to those served at the wagon, and the alcohol level in those seems to be slightly higher than two ounces. i’d consumed only two prior to (intentionally) pouring miller lite on matty’s crotch at that game. i believe that’s also the night that i embarrassed myself (and everyone else) by giving midre cummings the nickname “cum dawg” and screamed said nickname. repeatedly.

    however– when mixed using the ratio you describe above– it seems like a good choice.

  2. alex Avatar

    The Twins have a minor league pitcher in camp. Jeremy Cummings. Perhaps you’ll have a chance to re-visit your drunken tomfoolery in a few years.

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