no more #4

i am, by far, the least qualified rube on this site to write about football. however, these are desperate times.

brett favre retired today. there are a lot of people at my workplace that are very, very happy about this. giddy, even. there are a lot of people at my workplace that are very, very sad about this. mournful, even. me? i don\’t particularly care. i guess i\’m ok that a central-division foe loses a guy who was a notorious viking-killer. however, he was starting to be rather ineffective, and i\’d rather have that than an improving aaron rodgers on the schedule twice a season.

so– overall, fine, great, don\’t really care. nice knowing you, brett.

what\’s my point, then, you ask?

my point is i am SO NOT looking forward to anything remotely related to sports news coverage for the next week. the media will be absolutely falling all over themselves talking about this yahoo, and it\’s only just started.

to that end, and to help me save my remaining shreds of sanity, i move that we enact a moratorium on the following words for the remainder of 2008:

+ gunslinger
+ dangerous
+ risk-taker
+ embodiment
+ epitomized
+ storied
+ archetype
+ grizzled
+ moist (not favre-related, i just hate that word)
+ swagger
+ competitor
+ swashbuckler

while acknowledging that not using these words may make some day-to-day conversation difficult, i think that– all in all– the world will be a better place.







12 responses to “no more #4”

  1. Brian Scott Avatar

    My parents are risk-takers, and so, though they are the very embodiment of Chicago, they moved us (with a moist swagger) to the storied town of Oregon, Wisconsin when I was at the dangerous age of 3. I moved to Minnesota at 18 and, no grizzled swashbuckler I, I epitomized ‘flip-flopper’ and quickly became a Vikings fan. Therefore, due to deep loyalties created in my formative years, I take exception to the use of the word ‘yahoo’ to describe this heroic gunslinger, Mr. Brett Favre.

  2. alex Avatar

    I suppose I can go along with this list, but only because you left me the use of hornswaggled.

  3. monkey Avatar

    I’m with Al, but it’s ’cause you left off “boondoggle”.

    Oh, and the retirement thing? I just wish I could say the same: that from this day forward (or for that matter when I reach his age) I can live comfortably off the money I’ve earned so far. Powerball, anyone?

  4. Explosive Bombchelle Avatar

    I’d like to see you try and write a staff review without using the words epitomized or embodiment.

  5. monkey Avatar

    Employee #2 is a “no-talent ass-clown.”

    Or would that not fly at your place of employment, ‘Chelle?

  6. anderswa Avatar

    actually, monkey, you should see what my boss called me yesterday when he found out that i worked from home vs. driving in during the snow.

    oh, and i think i used the phrase “drive issue to resolution” on every single one of the performance reviews i wrote this year. i also put “positive change agent” on nicole’s, just to be funny.

  7. wadE Avatar

    In the spirit of limiting words, here is a list of words I intend to use more in 2008:

    – ennui
    – spaeth
    – embiggens
    – topography
    – standpoint (as opposed to perspective)
    – idiot
    – moist

    As for Favre, I was hoping for one more season and one more visit to the dome to watch him (hopefully get pounded).

    Fare thee well number 4… fare thee well…

  8. alex Avatar

    Yeah, and somewhere there’s an idiot sports fan naming their twins Randall and Gay. Or Bobby and Wade. You get the idea…

  9. monkey Avatar

    anderswa, I’m hoping it was “remarkably practical” or some such.

    Do you plan to keep doing performance reviews like that on a go-forward basis?

  10. Explosive Bombchelle Avatar

    monkey, I’m pretty sure I could slip “no-talent ass-clown” into a review and chances are no one would ever read it… might have to do that just prior to my leaving the evil empire someday.

  11. alex Avatar

    Evil Empire? You didn’t tell me you’re working for the Yankees. 🙂

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