Twins sign former All Star!

Well, ok, they signed this guy.

Thankfully, it was only to a minor-league deal, as would befit a guy with less than a thousand plate appearances in the bigs. Other things that stand out from his Baseball Reference page:

One of his similar batters is Scott Stahoviak.
One of his most similar by age is Doug Mientkiewicz.

Practically a who\’s who of former Twins with more consonants than talent. You\’ll excuse me if I imply that this signing makes Rondell White look exciting.