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"Armageddon is at hand!"
- wadE
First off, a disclaimer...I'm sure some of you play Golden Tee and like it. My hatred of Golden Tee is not the game
itself, but the usual group of guys gathered around it in any bar in the U.S. (and the occasional Golden Tee bitch...you
know, she's the chick wearing a baseball cap, trying to be "one of the guys").
Anyway, for my friends that play Golden Tee, I pray for your souls...for the rest...I don't particularly care for you.
This is somewhat similar to my feeling that everyone who drives a BMW is an asshole (and also anyone who drives a
Jaguar is a moron...you'll have the nicest car in the shop Jacko!). I'm sure I have and will have friends who drive a BMW, and
I pray for you as well.
End disclaimer
I find Golden Tee to be very annoying. Especially when it first came out because every time you walked into a bar there
was this group of annoying preppy guys gathered around the game like it was PacMan in 1982. My favorite is the guy who backs
up 3 or 4 steps and takes a running lunge at the rollerball...to get extra power I would assume. This guy is the biggest idiot
of the bunch. I just hope that some day he catches his hand on a screw that isn't screwed in all the way, or a little splinter
sticking up and tears half his hand off...not that I'm bitter or anything.
With all that being said, my friend Corinne tipped me off this week about something she saw on Fox SportsNet. A Golden
Tee Tournament...in Vegas, with prize money!!! Yes, prize money!!!
This goes way beyond the level of "You've got to be shitting me!" to "This is the seventh sign of the Apocalypse!"
I had to investigate further...here is what I found on itsgames.com.
Golden Tee National Championship to Air on Fox Sports Net
Over 60 Million Homes to See WorldÎs First-Ever Video Sport
Pictures of 2002 Golden Tee National Championship!!
Find when and where the TV show will be in your area!
Steven Sobe is about to become a lot more famous than he already is. The undisputed king of Golden Tee Golf is the star
of the 2002 Golden Tee National Championship, a 30-minute show that highlights the fun and excitement of the hottest
video game in the country.
Golden Tee Golf is the most popular coin-operated video game in history with over 50,000 games in bars and taverns
across the country. Besides being the favorite game of millions of video golfers, itÎs also the favorite of
celebrities like all-pro middle linebacker, Brian Urlacher of the Chicago Bears; TV personality, Carson Daly; AmericaÎs
Top 40 host, Rick Dees; and rapper Uncle Kracker. ItÎs so popular that many players reserve tee times with their
favorite bar. Over 40,000 players compete monthly in online tournaments for $2.5 million in annual prize money.
The MGM Grand Casino was the setting for this historic event, where 72 of the best players in the world competed for
a first-place prize of $15,000 over the weekend of March 2-3.
Steven Sobe of tiny Mt. Airy, North Carolina, became the first-ever 3-time Golden Tee national champion when he
defeated Ryan Bourgeois of Houston, Texas in the final match. It was high drama as the contest was decided on the
last hole.
øWe wanted to capture the essence of what makes Golden Tee so much fun to play,Ó said Elaine Hodgson, CEO of
Incredible Technologies, the manufacturer of Golden Tee. øThis show really does a great job of displaying the
remarkable skills of these professionals as well as the action and excitement of the sport. If youÎre an accomplished
player or just a novice, youÎll love this show. It was so exciting to see it live, and thanks to Fox Sports Net,
we can see it again!Ó
Fox Sports Net will air the 2002 Golden Tee National Championship in all major markets across the country beginning
Saturday April 6. Please check the attached schedule for the running time in your area.
More 2002 Golden Tee National Championship
Fox Sports Net National Schedule
Comcast Philadelphia Sun, 4/7 3:30 pm ET
Philadelphia, Wilkes-Barre-Scranton, Harrisburg Ë Lancaster, Lebanon-York
Empire Sports Sun, 4/7 2:00 pm ET
Buffalo, Rochester, Syracuse, Utica, Elmira, Binghamton, Albany-Schenectady, Troy, Erie, Burlington
FOX Sports Detroit Sun, 4/14 1:00 pm ET
Detroit, Lansing, Toledo, Grand Rapids-Kalamazoo, Flint-Saginaw-Bay City, Traverse City-Cadillac,
Marquette, South Bend-Elkhart, Green Bay-Appleton, Alpena, Duluth-Superior
FOX Sports Florida Sun, 4/14 4:30 pm ET
Miami-Ft. Lauderdale, Tampa-St. Pete-Sarasota, West Palm Beach-Ft. Pierce, Jacksonville-Brunswick, Ft.Myers-Naples,
Orlando-Daytona Beach-Melbourne, Panama City, Mobile-Pensacola
FOX Sports New England Sun, 4/7 2:00 pm ET
Boston, Hartford-New Haven, Providence-New Bedford, Springfield-Holyoke, Portland-Auburn,
Burlington- Plattsburgh, Bangor, MN, Albany-Schenectady-Troy, Presque Isle
FOX Sports New York Sun, 4/7 2:00 pm ET
New York, Albany-Schenectady-Troy, Rochester, Syracuse, Utica, Binghamton,
Hartford-New Haven , Watertown, Elmira, Burlington-Plattsburgh, Buffalo, Philadelphia
FOX Sports Ohio Sun, 4/7 2:00 pm ET
Cleveland, Columbus, Cincinnati, Dayton, Louisville, Toledo, Lexington, Youngstown, Erie, Evansville,
Charleston-Huntington, Lima, Terre Haute, Bowling Green, Nashville, Wheeling-Steubenville, Ft. Wayne
FOX Sports Pittsburgh Fri, 4/12 12:00 pm ET
Pittsburgh, Harrisburg-Lancaster-Lebanon-York, Johnstown-Altoona, Charleston-Huntington,
Wilkes Barre-Scranton, Erie, Youngstown, Wheeling-Steubenville, Washington, D.C., Parkersburg,
Buffalo, Elmira, Cleveland
FOX Sports South Sun, 4/7 4:00 pm ET
Atlanta, Charlotte, Nashville, Greenville-Ashville, Birmingham, Memphis, Knoxville, Huntsville,
Chattanooga, Savannah, Columbia, SC, Jackson, MS, Mobile-Pensacola, August,
Macon-Raleigh-Durham, Biloxi-Gulfport, Tupelo, Tallahassee, Albany GA, Jackson, TN,
New Orleans, Paducah-Cape Girardo and many more¹
FOX Sports Chicago Sat, 4/6 5:00 pm CT
Wed, 4/10 2:00 pm CT ä
Sat, 4/20 8:30 pm CT ä
Illinois - Chicago, Champaign-Springfield-Decatur, Peoria-Bloomington,
Rockford Indiana -South Bend-Elkhart, Fort Wayne, Lafayette Iowa - Quincy-Hannibal-Keokuk,
Ottumwa-Kirksville, Sioux City, Terre Haute Davenport- Rock Island-Moline,
Cedar Rapids-Waterloo-Dubuque, Des Moines-Ames
FOX Sports North Sun, 4/14 12:30 pm CT
Minnesota - Minneapolis- St. Paul, Duluth; Wisconsin - Milwaukee, Green Bay, Madison,
Lacrosse North Dakota - Fargo, Sioux Falls
FOX Sports Midwest Sun, 4/7 2:00 pm CT
Indianapolis, St. Louis, Kansas City, Omaha, Champaign-Springfield-Decatur, Springfield, MO,
Paducah-Mt. Vernon, Evansville, IN, Columbia-Jefferson City, Peoria-Bloomington, Terre Haute, Quincy-Hannibal-Keokuk,
Cedar Rapids, Waterloo, St. Joseph, Louisville, Cincinnati, Dayton,
Ottumwa-Kirksville, Fort Wayne, Des Moines-Ames, Memphis, Lincoln-Hastings, Youngstown,
Lafayette, IN
FOX Sports Southwest Sun, 4/7 1:00 pm CT
Dallas-Ft. Worth, Houston, San Antonio, Austin, Tulsa, Baton Rouge, Shreveport, Little Rock- Pine Bluff,
Lafayette, LA, El Paso, Amarillo, Corpus Christi, Lubbock and many more¹
FOX Sports Arizona Sun, 4/7 5:30 pm MT
Tue, 4/9 3:30 pm MT ä
Phoenix, Tucson, Albuquerque-Santa Fe, El Paso, Yuma-El Centro, Amarillo
FOX Sports Rocky Mountain Sun, 4/7 2:00 pm MT
Thu, 411 1:30 pm MT ä
Denver, Salt Lake City, Wichita-Hutchinson, Lincoln, Colorado Springs-Pueblo, Topeka, Boise,
Omaha, Idaho Falls-Pocatello, Albuquerque-Santa Fe, Billings, Rapid City, Cheyenne-Scottsbluff- Sterling,
Grand Junction-Montrose, Casper-Riverton, Twin Falls, Great Falls, Sioux City, Missoula, Helena,
Kansas City, Tulsa, Reno
FOX Sports West Sun, 4/7 2:30 pm PT
Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas, Honolulu, Santa Barbara, Palm Springs, Reno, Bakersfield
FOX Sports Bay Area Sun, 4/7 12:00 pm PT
Mon, 4/8 11:00 am PT ä
San Francisco - Oakland - San Jose, Sacramento Ë Modesto, Fresno Ë Visalia, Monterey Ë Salina ,
Reno, NV, Chico Ë Redding, Eureka
FOX Sports Northwest Sun, 4/7 5:00 pm PT
Seattle, Portland, OR, Spokane, Eugene, Yakima-Pasco-Richland, Anchorage, Medford, Bend OR,
Missoula, Boise, Idaho
Copyright © 2002 Incredible Technologies, Inc. All rights reserved.
Sadly...we've missed it. But as Corinne pointed out to me, "keep your eyes on Fox Sports...
it kind of looked like one of those things they might air during a rain delay."
"World's First-Ever Video Sport" -- I don't even know where to begin with that statement. I don't think "First-Ever" is
even an actually word. The word "Sport" is being applied to way too many things these days. I think we at SP.com need to
once and for all declare what IS and ISN'T a sport. This however, I am very sure IS NOT a f*ckin' sport!
Ok, I kinda like Brian Urlacher since he is a very good football player, but I bet he's an asshole. Carson Daly,
well I think I can honestly say that 99.9% of straight american men would pay 100 bucks to kick him right in the balls.
Ooooh, Rick Dees... THE Rick Dees? Ok, maybe I've been wrong all along on this Golden Tee thing... then again, maybe not.
Rapper Uncle Kracker... I have no joke here.
A tee time at your local bar? I think I just threw up in my mouth. How much of an asshole do you have to be to
have a tee time at your local bar?
And who is this Steven Sobe guy...apparently he's famous...actually let me rephrase, by the time you read this he's even
more famous!
This gets so much worse. If you go out to itsgames.com you can actually join the Golden Tee(tm) Golf Association... ack,
I'm dead... that just killed me.
I can't go on...
One...last...thing...before...I...go...AHHHHHHhhhhhhhh...
- 04/26/2002
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