The Morning "News"

- wadE

Yes, I'm still out in CA...kickin' it... keepin' it real as 'they' say.

It's such a strange place... for instance, the morning news isn't like the morning news in the rest of the country. I remember a few months ago on a day when all of the other news agencies were reporting a suicide bombing in Israel, FOX's morning program had the release of the Winona Rider shoplifting video tape as its lead story! Now I know it is FOX, but trust me, all the others are the same.

The FOX morning show just really sums up the ridiculous nature of "news" out there..

...and I quote: "Join the GOOD DAY LA crew weekday mornings from 7 to 9 am... you never know what to expect from these guys and gals, and neither do we! News, weather, traffic, entertainment gossip, and all kinds of tips and gadgets... you'll get it only on GOOD DAY LA!"

You might recognize Jillian (who is the meteorolo...actually... I don't think she has a meteorological "degree", so she's just a weathergirl) as the sassy tart who does the weather for the FOX NFL pre-game show during football season. They've got her dressed up in the slutiest outfits they can find each day...I really think they should just go all the way and instead of the weather, just cut to her eating an melting ice cream cone or a banana.

Rod is the "eye in the sky". Telling you each morning that the traffic is shitty everywhere. Acutually, he just spends his time flirting with Jillian and telling people where traffic is shittier than normal.

Tony acutally sits at another desk, and they go to him for actual "real" news from time to time...he also hosts the regular news that is on before 7 AM out there. (which is still filled with fluff)

Dorothy is the entertainment chick. And I use "chick" with the upmost respect for her reporting capability. I think my favorite moment on the show was when Dorothy and Jillian got on a 10 minute tangent about how great gay male friends are.

And in the middle of it all is Steve...who during that gay male friend tangent attempted to hang himself with his tie, but was unsuccessful. Steve seems to be a guy who's been in the news business a long time and at one point was a well respected anchorman...but he seems to have pissed off the wrong people and is now stuck trying to pretend this is a news broadcast of some sort so he can stay employed and pay his mortgage. At least once an hour some seething bitterness seeps out of Steve and he erupts on something. It's actually been getting worse (or better) recently; he went nuts this week for a few minutes on how stupid the entertainment segment was; they had a reporter on the scene downtown where winona Rider was going back to court a couple days after she had her arm broken when in the crush of reporters a deputy was knocked into Winona which caused her to fall back and slam her elbow into a camera. Anyway, Steve couldn't believe that at 7:15 in the morning all the tabloid shows had camara crews there for Winona returning to court when there is a nuclear war about to erupt between India and Pakistan. Heee-larious! He had the poor field reporter backpeddling like crazy.

I know, I know I could watch something else, but HBO always has terrible kids programming on in the mornings, CNN is usually dominated by Wall Street discussions, and the other networks have their usual Today, GMA, etc, which is even more fluff than what FOX has on. When you are staying in a hotel, you don't have too many channels to choose from.


- 06/07/2002

This site and all its contents are the property of
If you have questions or comments, please click here.
Our legal statements can be found here.