Chivalry
- Wade
Because I'm a fan of cliched and tired introductions...
Webster's dictionary defines "chivalry" as mounted men-at-arms. Really? Crap. That's not what I was going for at all. Ummm.. see "chivalrous". Oh, that's better.
Webster's dictionary defines "chivalrous" as, among other things, marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women. That's better.
In my head, whenever I hear the word "chivalry" I picture a cartoon I must have seen in my youth: a man took off his coat and laid it over a puddle in the street so a woman could walk over it and not get her feet wet. Maybe it was a muppet instead of a cartoon, but that memory got established at least two decades ago. Between that, and the way I was raised, I try to act as chivalrous as possible when it comes to the fairer sex. These items are generally minor-- opening the door for her, opening her car door first, letting her order first in restauarants, these types of things. Please let it be known, though, that I've never laid my jacket over a puddle for anyone. Seems like a great way to ruin a jacket.
This notion of chivalry came up recently while riding the Happy Valley bus into work one day last week. I took one of the later buses in and, while I boarded in time to get a seat, not everyone did. In particular, two females (one older, one younger) were the last people to get onto the bus and ended up having to stand for the entire 35-minute trip. I've had to stand a couple of times on this commute of mine, and it's not particularly fun; you can't read, balancing the iPod is difficult, and you take your life into your own hands each time you take a swig of coffee. From my seat in the back of the bus, I wondered... if I were in front, would I (a male) get up and offer my seat to one of the unlucky late ones (a female)?
The answer? No, despite my initial feeling that I should do so. Why not? Because I'm just not sure that my tendency to do things like that is welcome anymore. The last thing I'd want is my kind (in my head, anyway) gesture to be frowned upon by the person I'm trying to assist. Much less do I want to be yelled at by anyone; and either of the women who I could have offered my seat to could easily have pushed me down.
So, ladies, some advice would be great. Am I viewed as some outdated codger who treats women as though they're inferior in some way? Are my attempts at being accomodating and polite actually seen as condescending and misogynistic?
(Plug coming...) Chat about it on the Forum.
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