Mall

- Wade

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I lost my mind for a bit on Saturday. For some reason, I decided that going to Southdale for a little Christmas shopping seemed like a fine idea.

(And, yes, I said the "C" word. Sue me. "Holiday tradition with reference to your particular faith tradition that you may or may not observe" is too wordy.)

Regardless, sanity (and claustrophobia) took hold about an hour into my trip and I quickly scurried home. But I was there long enough to make a few observations and, with apologies to The Book of Ratings, a few grades.

Parking

Please. I get annoyed parking at Southdale at 2:45 p.m. on a Thursday afternoon. On the second-to-last Saturday before Christmas? It would have been quicker if I had walked from my house in Richfield. When leaving I noticed a car slowly following me down the row, waiting for me to get into my car to snag my spot. Hope she wasn't too disappointed to find me parked in the last possible spot in a long row. Hee hee. D.

Lines

You probably know where this is going. I waited fifteen minutes to buy a $10 present for my Dad. I could have fashioned this particular gift myself in less than that time. You think people would rebel against having to wait that long to give a store their money. You'd be wrong. D-.

Santa

Last year, I probably would have given this a pretty low grade. But this appears to be one of the multiple things where having your own kid changes your point-of-view. Dozens of kids barely containing themselves to sit on Santa's lap is pretty cute. Let's hope Santa has no criminal record, and is sober. B+

Ben & Jerry's Waffle Cone

Let's hope Sara doesn't read this far. To reward myself for not going postal after waiting in line at JCPenneys, I bought myself one of these, chock full of Cherry Garcia ice cream. And it was easily the best... cone.. ever. Still warm. Parts of it were still soft. Halalalalalal.... A

The cost of a Ben & Jerry's Waffle Cone

After being given my cone of goodness, the slacker behind the counter punches a few buttons and says "$4.20, please." At first I was convinced I was part of some complex marijuana joke, especially since I ordered Cherry Garcia. But I confirmed with the pricing menu that it was correct. Holy crap. C-

Not running into anyone I know

Whenever I go to Southdale, I run into someone I know but haven't seen for years and don't want to talk to. A former co-worker I didn't like. An ex-girlfriend. One of the cool kids from high school. So much of my time is spent trying to dodge said person so to avoid the "So, what have you been up to", "Where are you at now", and "Did you hear about (random name here)" conversations. I'm not anti-social, and I think my friends can attest to that. I just don't like having to create / put up with pointless banal conversation with someone I don't really care about. And, despite the 1.4 million people at the mall, I didn't have to do it at all on Saturday. Woo hoo. B+

Ahhh. Gotta love Christmas.


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