After last season’s heartbreaking loss in the NFC title game I never had the motivation to properly wrap up last season. Continuing in the long storied tradition of my Scandinavian forefathers we’ll just pretend last season never happened and we’ll take those feelings of anger and crumple them up into a little ball and put it in our pocket.

Now that we’ve taken care of that, let’s look forward to the 2010 season. Last year I started my Vikings Preview with the ESPN Power Rankings that had 8 teams ahead of Minnesota. Per usual those rankings now look ridiculous a year later. However this year has the Vikings at number 3 (behind the Colts and the Saints). Last year’s number 3 was the Giants who didn’t even make the post-season. Let’s hope the geniuses over at ESPN are a little better this year.

Last year I summed up my opener with the open questions I had about the Vikings. It’s startling how very little has changed:

• Will Favre play well? – an even bigger question this year considering after one preseason game Favre had a cup of “fluid and junk” drained from his ankle.
• Will Favre even make it through 16 games? – I’d lay pretty good odds that this is the year that Favre’s streak ends. But will it be Sage or T-Jack coming in?
• Will the Offensive Line step up in pass protection and run blocking with a new Center, suspect Right Guard, and rookie Right Tackle? – More or less the same question but with a twist: will McKinney actually play to his potential, will Sullivan recover in time for the start of the season? The O-line looks to be the weak link this year making the Vikings essentially the 2009 Packers. But they’re QB is a helluva lot younger.
• Will the Williams Wall get suspended for 4 games during the season? – my guess is no. This won’t get settled until after Pat Williams retires, and Kevin will be past his prime. And even if they do, the Vikings backup front 4 is better than half of the starting D-line in the NFL.
• Will Childress and Bevell actually open up the playbook a little bit for Favre and Harvin? – there was some opening last year, but now the question is will they open up the playbook for Joe Webb?
  Will Berrian actually get through a season without getting injured? – replace Berrian with Rice, and put down “no” as the answer. I don’t know who was giving Rice advice in the offseason but there is no excuse for a guy to have hip surgery in August when he could have had it in February.
• Will Childress consummate his love with Naufahu Tahi? – out of all the tough decisions that the Vikings have to make this pre-season the one I am most interested in is if Tahi is cut in favor of D’Imperio.

Enough musing, let’s get to the games!

Week 1: Sep 9 – at New Orleans
This is why the NFL is the most dominant sport in America. In what other sport can you see an instant rematch of a huge title game? My hope for this game is that Pat Williams snaps Drew Brees’ ankle and doesn’t get flag for it. Actually, I’m quite concerned that the Saints will come out with the same game plan as last year and beat the crap out of Favre. The O-line is worse than last year and Favre is even slower. This doesn’t look good for the Vikes (why in the hell couldn’t the rematch be at Metrodome?). A 0-1 start for the Vikings isn’t the worst thing in the world.

Week 2: Sep 19 – vs. Miami
The Vikings have drawn the AFC East for their non-conference schedule this year. In years past that was an easy 3 wins (minus New England), but the AFC East is a different division now. Miami still has Chad Henne under center, which is why I give the nod to the Vikings. 1-1.

Week 3: Sep 26 – vs. Detroit
I think Detroit is going to surprise a lot of people this year and could win 6 games. However, this isn’t the year they break the steak of losing in the Metrodome. It’ll be a close game, but one the Vikings should win at home. 2-1

Week 4: BYE
I’m generally not a fan of having a Bye week so early in the season, but with several injuries affecting the Vikings (Sullivan and Rice being the big ones) an early Bye week gives a little more time for them to heal.

Week 5: Oct 11 – at New York Jets
A huge Monday night game after the Bye week. If you had only listened to the talk last year about the Jets you would have assumed they were 12-4 or 13-3. They were 9-7. I expect them to be even better this year, but this team isn’t Dallas bound for the Super Bowl quite yet. I’m going to go ahead and predict a Vikings win, because if they can’t win this game there isn’t much point in predicting anything else. Big test for them early in the season to see if this year’s team is for real. 3-1

Week 6: Oct 17 – vs. Dallas
Another rematch from last years’ playoffs where the Vikings mopped the Dome with the ‘Boys. Another tough game, but if I’m assuming the Vikings beat the Jets, I need to assume the Vikings beat the Cowboys. However, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to assume the Vikings lose one of these two games. But for now we’re sticking with 4-1.

Week 7: Oct 24 – at Green Bay
Yet another return to Lambeau for Favre. I don’t think it’ll play out as sweet as it did last year. The Vikings typically swap wins with the Packers and Bears. My optimism only goes so far. Record after 6 games: 4-2.

Week 8: Oct 31 – at New England
Halloween in Massachusetts. Early season snowstorm? Probably not. I have no idea what to expect from the Pats this year. Their probably not the best team in their own division anymore, and Tom Brady isn’t the same QB he once was. I think the Vikings win this game. The scheduling gods gave the Vikings the Jets and Pats on the road, and Miami and Buffalo at home, but I think they are up to the challenge. 5-2.

Week 9: Nov 7 – vs. Arizona
Arizona is not as good as ESPN thinks (15 on the power rankings). If they had to bring in Derek Anderson to challenge Leinart, then they are in a world of hurt. This should be a 28-10 win. 6-2.

Week 10: Nov 14 – at Chicago
As difficult as the first half of the Vikings schedule is, at least the scheduling gods cut them a little break in the second half. Chicago in November is far better than December. It also helps that Chicago is terrible. I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if the Lions win more games this year. I wonder what the over/under is in Vegas for the number of interceptions that Cutler will throw this year. 25? 30? After 9 games: 7-2.

Week 11: Nov 21 – vs. Green Bay
Aaron Rodgers plays much like his predecessor in the Metrodome, running for his life, throwing interception, and finding himself flat on his back. They key difference is that Favre was able to pull some games out. Key stat: in 2 games in the Metrodome Rodgers has been sacked 12 times. Expect that to be 16 after this year. 8-2.

Week 12: Nov 28 – at Washington
The Vikings passed on 4 more years of McNabb for 2 of Brett Favre. Only time will tell if that was the right move. At any rate, in another case of a QB moving to a division rival McNabb is now a Redskin and is the best player on a mediocre team. With nothing else to say about this game I’ll recount my favorite Washington Redskins story. The year was 1998, what would turn out to be a magical year for the Vikings. Week 7, beautiful October day in Minnesota. After tailgating prior to the game I am walking up the outside ramps past a small group of Native Americans who are silently protesting the name of the team from Washington. Sitting amongst the group of 6 or 7 of them is a small woman who looks like she has to be 115 years old. She’s holding a small sign that reads: “Welcome Washington Cocksuckers”. 9-2.

Week 13: Dec 5 – vs. Buffalo
As much as Chelle would like to see Buffalo win this game, it’s not in the cards. Trent Edwards is back again as the Bills QB, and even if he improves over previous years the rest of the team around him has gotten worse. 10-2

Week 14: Dec 13 – vs. New York Giants
For the third year in a row the Vikings play the Giants at home late in the season (the last two years the Vikings have closed the season with the Giants). In fact, since the 1998 season the Vikings have played the Giants every year except for 2006; going 6-4 against them during that time. Last year’s shellacking (44-7) almost made up for 41-donut. I would expect the Vikings at home to be able to take care of the Giants once again. 11-2

Week 15: Dec 20 – vs. Chicago
Assuming Cutler is still the QB in Chicago by this point in the year, perhaps the final score of this game will be 35-24. Otherwise expect 35-3. 12-2

Week 16: Dec 28 – at Philly
Late season, outdoor game. Expect Favre to throw a couple of picks. Besides I’ve been way too optimistic so far. 12-3

Week 17: Jan 3 – at Detroit
If the Vikings are lucky enough to be 12-3 coming into this game I would think we’d see plenty of starters on the bench. Even so, our backups could probably beat Detroit, even on the road. 13-3

Last year I predicted 11-5 and the Vikings ended up 12-4. This year I’ve settled on 13-3, but it’ll probably 12-4. The Vikings offense has regressed from last year. The offensive line is a mess, Sydney Rice will be out for half the season, Chester Taylor is gone, Favre is a year old and has an ankle operating around 10%. However, our defense is improved and should be top notch in the rushing *and* passing games. I figure a lot fewer 35-28 games and a few more 24-17 games.

Final thoughts: Same story as last year. It’s too early to book your plane tickets to Dallas. The question marks are there, plus the Packers should be much improved this year (and since they were 11-5 last year that’s a tough call). The Vikings play a hard first half schedule and face a key stretch of Jets, Dallas, Green Bay, New England (3 of 4 on the road) that will decide their season. If they can win 3 of those 4 I see them returning to the NFC Championship. If they only win 1, it’s feasible they miss the playoffs.

Regardless, this will mark the last season of Brett Favre (you heard it here first!). What will the Vikings do with their QB position? Also, will Adrian Peterson re-establish himself as the top RB in the NFL… or will he fumble it away .

All the power rankings and my guesses won’t amount to much five months from now. How does that saying go… that’s why they play the games?

Skol Vikings!

Yesterday was Day 1 of the 2010 State Fair as well as Day 1 for myself. I’ll be attending again next Thursday. This isn’t because I have a undying love affair with travel to Falcon Heights, it’s because I’ve had/have inlaws in town who are fascinated with this unique slice of Americana.

I can’t fault them. It really is a place like no other. Where else can you find carneys, 1-ton families, U.S. Senators, marching bands, pro sports mascots, livestock of all types, and Boyz II Men for the low price of an 11 dollar admission?

At any rate, the people watching is second to none at the state fair but the best reason to go is the food. The fair’s website has improved every year with this year’s food finder being the best guide to gluttony on the face of the planet.

After exhaustive research, here’s my 2010 cheat sheet, with some comments on what I’ve tried so far. Hopefully I’ll hit the rest next week!

Axel’s (U-26)
New for 2010: Deep-fried cheeseburger sliders (cheeseburger batter-dipped and deep fried).
Verdict: In a word: greasy. But that is to be expected when you batter and deep fry a bun. I think if you could make them to order with bacon or pickles inside it would spice them up a little. Not bad, but not great.

Giggles’ Campfire Grill (V-13)
New for 2010: Chicken Fried Bacon (thick-cut bacon battered and breaded, fried and served in a boat covered with gravy).
Verdict: I was hoping for more of the batter to stick to the bacon, but what was there was yummy. The description online isn’t quite accurate regarding the “covered with gravy”. You actually get a small cup of maple flavored dip (which you could call gravy), that’s quite good and compliments the bacon. I recommend getting yourself some chicken fried bacon!

Midtown Global Market (V-31)
New for 2010: Camel on-a-stick, mango on-a-stick, African coolers.

Moe and Joes Coffee (N-30)
New for 2010: Grilled marshmallow, chocolate and banana sandwich

Netterfield Food Court (V-20)
New for 2010: Deep fried bologna served on-a-stick or on a bun
Verdict: I should have known better when I finally found the Netterfield Food Court. A collection of the brightly neoned cars you find in the midway at most fairs. Far too much of a commercialized/franchized operation. I’ll give them this much, the bologna was larger than a hockey puck, but it’s still bologna. No batter, just dropped in the fryer. Tasted like… well, bologna. Not worth your time or your 5 bucks.

O’Garas (W-24)
New for 2010: Sweet potato tots (tater tots made out of sweet potatoes), Danny Boy Burger (burger made with corned beef and covered with kraut, Swiss cheese and Thousand Island Dressing). Irish Soda bread served with cinnamon butter to enjoy here or a loaf to take home.
Verdict: I only tried the sweet potato tots. I really enjoy sweet potato fries dipped in blue cheese, so I was excited about these. However the tots seemed to be tossed in sugar and come with no dip of any sort. More along the lines of sweet potato pie than the savory snack I expected. Instead, try the blarney beans, and a pint of your favorite beer (16 or so on tap!)

Potato Man and Sweetie (J-27)
New for 2010: Deep-fried bacon cheddar mashed potatoes on-a-stick.

Sonnys Spiral Spuds (T-26)
New for 2010: Sloppy Joe served over a bed of spiral chips; Chocolate Tornado (tornado potato dipped in chocolate)

Also, for those of you who have picked up a Blue Ribbon Book, here’s some good deals that I found:

Ball Park Cafe (S-25)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $2 off one order of garlic fries

Bridgeman’s Restaurants (J-28)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $3 off your choice of a brownie or muffin sundae

French Creperie (Q-26)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $2.25 off any $7 crepe

Luigi Fries (P-26)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $1 off one Luigi Italian Ice or buy one Luigi Italian Ice and get one FREE or buy one of the following Luigi food item, Luigi fries, Luigi hot dago-on-a-stick or Luigi deep fried peppers and receive a Luigi Italian Ice FREE

Vegie Fries (T-23)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $1.50 off one stick of vegie fries or potato onion fries or $1 off one vegie roll

Last but not least, a few favorites:

Pork Chop on a Stick – Carousel BBQ (K-25) OR Pork Chops & Chicken (U-31)

Milk – All The Milk You Can Drink (N-29) OR Dairy Town Diner (R-31)

Spam Burgers (W-21)

Buffalo Burgers (H-24)
Inside Heritage Square in the southeast quadrant – Buffalo burgers, elk burgers (Giggles also has some quality buffalo and elk burgers)

Tom Thumb Donuts

Tomorrow is the first day of the 2010 Minnesota State Fair. I will be in attendance and hope to get back on the SP bandwagon by giving a full rundown of the fair (both my visits this year) on the site, but in the meantime, thanks to Jill for sharing her annual Photo Scavenger Hunt.

I won’t be able to participate this year, but I’ll keep my eyes open. Here’s the list if you’d like to play along during your visit to the fair.

SCAVENGER HUNT
Rules/Directions:
1. Attend State Fair on date with your teammates of choice and fully-charged digital camera. Meet by Space Tower at X p.m. to receive your list of scavenger hunt items.
2. Run around, take photos, gather items, laugh out loud, have fun, and eat food (not necessarily in that order). Team members may split up but all photos must be on 1 camera.
3. Note that photos/items on the list can’t serve a dual purpose (e.g., Paper pig ears, although free, can’t earn points in both the “FREE Item” category and the “Headgear” category).
4. Return to Space Tower by X+1 p.m. to review your photos/items and determine your score. Extra points awarded in “Best Of” category are in sole discretion of Judge (bribes welcome).
5. Post-hunt revelry and award ceremony at nearby Leinie’s Lodge.

Team Name:

Team Members:

BEST OF
(Points awarded if fulfilled, with 1 extra point awarded to Team deemed Best in each category)

Photo Required

Best Mullet (aka Hockey Hair)/Best She-Mullet (aka WoMullet)
(Note: Permed mullets will be given priority in “best of” ranking)
4 pts ea.

Most Patriotic
4 pts

Best Throwback, you choose the year (e.g., Hammer pants, claw bangs, Farrah Fawcett, etc.)
4 pts

Most Bling/Flare
4 pts

Most Bizarre Handicraft (hint: visit 4-H Bldg, Fine Arts Bldg, crop art, etc.)
4 pts

Most Impressive Display of Tattoos or Piercings
4 pts

Best-looking carnie on the Midway
4 pts

Fair-goer toting Most Midway Prizes
4 pts

Best Display of “Goods” (Cleavage, Camel toe, Moose knuckle, Butt-crack?)
4 pts

Fair-goer displaying most fair food on clothes/face
4 pts

Most Impressive (or Objectionable) Hair/Facial Hair
4 pts

Most Outrageous Couple (e.g., mismatched, white trash, PDA, etc.)
4 pts

Most Creative Use of Spandex
4 pts

Wild Card – Doesn’t fit a category, but is definitely deserving of a photo
4 pts

SIGHTINGS

Photo Required

Celebrity (e.g., local media, Josh Hartnett, etc.)
Photo = 5 pts

Add Autograph = 10 pts

Politician
Photo = 5 pts

Add Autograph = 10 pts

Princess Kay of Milky Way, or one of her court members
Photo=5 pts

Photo next to her

Butter Sculpture=10 pts

Family all dressed alike
(Note: DOUBLE points if also a mullet family!!)
5 pts for each family member

Animal Curiosity (e.g., miniature horse, iguana, biggest pig)
5 pts

“I’m with Stupid”, mock tux, or “My [relative] went to [city/state] and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” t-shirt
5 pts

Visible thong, boxer shorts, or other noteworthy undergarment
5 pts

Live Birth at “Miracle of Birth” barn
5 pts

COLLECT ‘EM

Item Required

FREE item (e.g., plastic bag, yardstick, bumper sticker, etc.)
5 pts

Headgear
5 pts

Political Paraphernalia (e.g., buttons, posters, yard sign, etc.)
5 pts

Media Merchandise (e.g., KARE-11 fan, MPR magnet, etc.)
5 pts

Something on a Stick
5 pts

Photo of Team Member on the Giant Slide
5 pts

Team Member displaying Temporary Tattoo, Face Paint, or Hair Design
5 pts

Prize from the Midway
5 pts

Team Total:

The headline on Yahoo! News read: “Mass. mom mixed on FCC indecency ruling.” If you hadn’t heard, the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the FCC’s indecency policy on “fleeting expletives” was unconstitutional.

The writer of this article is a journalist (Pam Gaulin) who is also the mother of a 4-year-old child. She writes that she is pleased with the ruling as a journalist, but has mixed feelings as a parent.

What got me riled up about this article were the following two sentences:
I was disturbed at the number of people who were downright angry that parents want to protect their children from offensive language, stating parents should “get over it” and stop “mollycoddling” children because cursing is a part of life.
Cursing is not a regular part of our life and, as a parent, I absolutely want to protect my children. That protection includes inappropriate language on TV.

Party of my annoyance stems from the author’s “must protect the children at all costs” mentality. It is a prevalent thought in modern culture which I believe is doing all children a disservice. Contrary to her belief, swearing *is* a regular part of life. All human languages contain swear words. Research has shown that nearly 1% of all spoken words are swear words; on par with first person plural pronouns (we, us, our). It is a natural reaction to pain, and one study showed that swearing after hurting oneself acted as a pain reliever.

I may disagree with how this woman wants to raise her child, but I can understand her concern with exposing young children to swearing. I’m sure there is nothing more embarrassing for a parent than to have their pre-school child drop an F-bomb in pleasant company. However, it’s up to you to guide your child through life, not a government entity. Do your job as a parent.

The author states that she does monitor her young child’s TV habits very closely, but she has two older (11 & 16) stepchildren that have TVs in their rooms and can what whatever they want. But the author is concerned that the older kids might hear more swearing on TV, due to the ruling, and they may think swearing is acceptable. Again, if you are doing your job as a parent, they should be aware of your position on swearing. If you are that concerned, perhaps they shouldn’t have TVs in their room!

Even after all this 21st century parent whining I was willing to cut the author some slack. That is until I read this:
“[her young son] is not allowed to watch Boomerang. It shows old-school cartoons, and the characters wield guns and use violence to solve problems. The shows I don’t let him watch include ‘Tom and Jerry,’ ‘The Perils of Penelope Pitstop’ or ‘Wacky Races.’ Alex isn’t happy I’ve barred this channel because his father once let him watch, and he likes ‘Scooby-Doo,’ which is on Boomerang”

I wonder what her views are on video games like Grand Theft Auto?

And if that wasn’t enough she closes with the age-old:
“What’s most disappointing about curse words on TV is that the writers, if they tried to be more creative, could write better dialogue.”

Really? You’re going to go with the old “swearing is the lazy writer’s crutch” thing?

I hate to break this to her, but swearing is out there, and it always will be. At some point your child is going to hear it, and is going to say it. How you respond will define how your child views swearing. If it’s your personal moral view that swearing is inappropriate then it’s up to you to instill that in your children. And it’s up to them to embrace or ignore your guidance. What you call “protecting” your child is you doing your child an injustice. Don’t protect them, prepare them.

And quit your fuckin’ whining!

I’d like to paraphrase the 15-second promo for one of our news stations that I heard the other night. I feel that it captures the essence of how ridiculous Minnesota can get sometimes. (Picture these bullet points appearing on screen along with the perky anchorwoman.)

“Here are some of the stories we’re working on for [redacted] News tonight:

The woman who swerved and killed an 11 year old boy was drunk!

A man is accused of sexually molesting children in his mother’s own daycare!

And there’s a chance of rain all week!

Tune in at [redacted]!”

Last year I outlined the platform of my candidacy for the position of President of the United States of America.

Recently the Texas GOP has released their 2010 State Republican Party Platform, which by reports I’m reading is very similar to their 2008 Platform.

In the interests of full disclosure many of you know I am a fiscal conservative and a social liberal. My voting the past few years has tended towards Independent candidates who have aligned closer to my beliefs, but in the grand scheme of donkeys and elephants I tend to vote for more Democrats than Republicans. The reason is that I value social issues higher than economic issues. It’s also helped that the Republican party of the past 30 years has gone off the deep end. Going from a long held position of small government and balanced budgets to two of the largest spending administrations in history (Reagan and Bush 43).

With that being said, I have voted for Republicans who don’t seem to be total wackjobs. In fact many Republicans I know are reasonable people with well thought out positions; but there is a special place in my heart for those on the fringes. And a great example of this is the Texas Republican. No other set of right wingers have that unique mix of belligerence, homophobia, presumptuousness, and weaponry. Let’s compare their platform to mine.

Abortion
Might as well start with a biggie. I support the right of a woman to chose, especially when her health is at risk. In an ideal world there would be no abortions, but they will always exist in this world and we must ensure they are done properly and with compassion.
The TX GOP has a slightly different view. They have an entire section of their platform titled “Protecting Innocent Human Life” which has a very pure solemn ring to it; but how does one define life? Well I’m glad you asked, “All innocent human life must be respected and safeguarded from fertilization to natural death; therefore, the unborn child has a fundamental individual right to life which cannot be infringed.” Along those lines they would like to see an amendment to the US Constitution to have the 14th Amendment apply to unborn children. Funny how the TX GOP values a single fertilized cell more than a gay adult, but we’ll get to that later. Basically the TX GOP wants to make sure as few abortions occur as possible. I’m surprised they don’t go so far as to outright say all abortions should be banned, but I’m not sure what else would be the goal of “We are resolute regarding the reversal of Roe v. Wade.” Let’s just say we differ slightly on this topic… for example I’m not in favor the state providing the option of a “Choose Life” license plate.

Afghanistan-Iraq-Iran-War on Terror
Surprisingly our positions on this topic are not all that far apart. Aside from the reasons we are involved in these messes, we both agree that the US needs to see it through, and that Iran should not be allowed to have nuclear weapons. However, I would look to close the prison in Gitmo (by actually putting all detainees on trial) while it seems the TX GOP is fine with the status quo in Cuba.

Cuba
Speaking of Cuba, I support engaging Cuba to incent them to make reforms and to lay the groundwork for post-Castro Cuba. The TX GOP simply states: “We support the continuation of the embargo against Cuba until democracy is restored.” Surprisingly they support all Cuban refugees emigrating to the US.

Economy
While we may quibble on some of the details of the economy (I’m not so sold on incentives to have people give more money to faith based charities) overall we agree that spending should be lowered, the budget should be balanced, and Social Security should not be used to fund anything besides Social Security.

Education
This topic is somewhat mixed. I agree that we need to invest in schools, No Child Left Behind has not worked, the need to have competent teachers, and use corporal punishment. But after that we start to diverge. I like the idea of teaching the principles of MLK and that we should recognize and celebrate the contributions of all regardless of color and endorse a collective American identity… but they also state that MLK was a Republican. It’s pretty obvious that MLK didn’t subscribe to either political party and for one or the other to co-opt his name for political gain is shameful. Beyond that the TX GOP is really in favor student sponsored prayer in schools and getting parental consent before going near any topic like sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. Lastly they also want Intelligent Design taught in schools. How about you let educators decide how/what to teach and keep your personal beliefs out of it? If you want your children to consider Intelligent Design you are more than welcome to teach them about it at home… how’s that?

Energy
The TX GOP is pretty brief on this one, but even since the disaster in the Gulf they support “an immediate end to the deep water drilling moratorium in the U.S. Gulf of Mexico”… yeah, good luck with that position if the oil spill in the Gulf drifts west instead of east. I believe that the government needs to take a more active position in forcing the US to start considering alternate energies. Of course there’s no money in electric cars right now, but without a mandate we’ll wait until the market forces our hands (a true oil crisis) instead of getting out in front of it. Government should use gentle steering and let the economic engine do all the work.

Environment
Not surprisingly the TX GOP is mostly concerned with property rights, water rights, and mineral rights. Not much to say otherwise.

Free trade
On one hand they support free trade with Columbia, but on the other hand they rant about pulling out of all free trade agreements. ???

Guns
We couldn’t disagree more on this topic. I support registration of all firearms, they reject any monitoring of gun ownership. I would repeal conceal and carry, they oppose “gun free zones”. Of course they also support the establishment of a “volunteer Constitutional State Militia.” I have no idea what that means, but I don’t like the sounds of it. Ask folks in Michigan how that works for them.

Health care
The TX GOP of course rejects “Obamacare” out of hand, without any specifics. They do support more transparency and choice for consumers… so they aren’t totally nuts on this topic.

Homeland security
We more or less agree that security is of the utmost importance. There aren’t specifics on how to make this happen. They spent 87 words on Homeland Security, but 205 on the right to bear arms and 1162 on abortion.

Immigration
My more conservative colors will show here as I fully support the securing of our borders and ports. I support stopping the flow of immigrants, drugs, and guns (going from US to Mexico) across our southern border. There will be significant economic impacts to securing the border, but the impacts of current state justify that option in my opinion. As for immigration as a larger issue, I again agree with the TX GOP in their quoting of Teddy Roosevelt:
America is a country of immigrants, we should insist that any immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself/herself to the United States. He/she shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else. This is predicated upon the fact that the person is in every facet an American, and nothing but an American. There can be no divided allegiance. Anyone who says he is an American, but something else also, isn’t American at all. We have room but for one flag, the American Flag. We have room for but one language here and that is the English language. We have room for but one sole loyalty and that is loyalty to the American people.
(Teddy Roosevelt, 1907)

Social Security
Another topic I more or less agree with the TX GOP on. While it cannot happen overnight I support the phase out of Social Security and prevention of government of using the existing money to fund other items.

Stem cell research
Pretty standard boilerplate stuff from the TX GOP on this, and I agree with some of it; such as not creating embryos for the sole purpose of research… I’m a little queasy on that. But there is one line in their statement I have to share: “We encourage the adoption of existing embryos.”
Wha?? I suppose is they believe that life starts at conception that means you can adopt an embryo. In my humble opinion the embryo belongs who whomever it came from, and it’s up to them on what to do with it… put it up for adoption (??? that just sounds so absurd but I’ll go with it), have it destroyed, or donate to research. What is it about the combination of egg and sperm that gets the TX GOP so worked up?

Taxes
The TX GOP is hardcore on Taxes: “We recommend a national sales tax (which does not include a Value Added Tax) to replace all other Federal taxes once the I.R.S. is abolished and the Sixteenth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution is repealed.”
I’m no expert on taxation, but I do know that some level of taxes are needed and I don’t know if an income tax (revised to get rid of the current confusing system) or a national sales tax is that answer, but if we go with a national sales tax can we mandate that all pricing must include the tax? I hate buying something for 99 cents and then going to the register and having to pay $1.06 for it.

LGBT issues
I saved the “best” one for last. I put best in quotation marks because this is where the GOP across the country loses me completely (as if their harsh stance on abortion wasn’t enough) and shows their homophobic and hateful colors.
As my own platform states, I am not in favor of gay “marriage”, I’m in favor of government getting out of the marriage business altogether. Marriages are the business of the Church, not government, and the Church can marry whomever they want. For legal purposes the government should recognize the Civil Union of two people; and I don’t care if they are two men, two women, or a woman and a man (or a transgendered person of any type). I support adoption of children by gay couples; I support gays in the military. Essentially I don’t see any valid reason to limit the rights of anyone based on their sexual preference. As long as you are a consenting adult, have fun! However, the TX GOP feels a little differently on this one.
As I run down their “STRENGTHENING FAMILIES, PROTECTING LIFE AND PROMOTING HEALTH” section here are my reactions…
There is no assault on marriage by judicial activists (and by the way, funny how if a judge changes a law to something a homophobe agrees with it’s not judicial activism). And can someone explain to me why the government should define marriage as between a “natural man and a natural woman”? I suppose the word ‘natural’ is in there to cover the transgendered. But why is this a problem? Here’s why; found under the heading “Homosexuality”:
“We believe that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society, contributes to the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders, and shared by the majority of Texans.”
Ok, but *why* do they believe that homosexuality tears at the fabric of society? Because they believe the homosexuals are deviants who prey on children, spread disease, and just plain make them feel uncomfortable. How narrow minded these horrible little people are. Their fear and insecurities do not give them the right to persecute those who are different. They are reminiscent of the Nazis. And to have the gall to hide behind their Christian religion is appalling. What would Jesus think of them? He would forgive them for they know not what they do; but He would not agree with them.
As if that isn’t enough…
“Marriage Licenses – We support legislation that would make it a felony to issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple and for any civil official to perform a marriage ceremony for such.”
That’s right; if you were to marry two people of the same sex you would have committed a crime punishable by death or imprisonment in excess of one year. You could lose your right to vote, own a gun (although I suppose the TX GOP would be ok without you owning a gun in this case), or run for public office.
The TX GOP also wants to get rid of all pornography and make sodomy a crime. … … Ok, it’s one thing to go after the gays… but making sodomy a crime is just ludicrous!
I beseech the Republican Party… please kick out the hateful religious wackjob bigots! This dictatorship of morality is no different than the radical Islamic mullahs who keep parts of the world under authoritarian regimes.

Now more than ever is why we need an alternate party who believes in smaller less intrusive government, but one that isn’t run by fear and hate. In closing I leave the Republican Party of Texas with this…

Detailed here: Two players, four turns, and according to the accompanying YouTube video, doable in 21 seconds.

Honestly, if this had any chance of happening on a consistent basis, I might be more inclined to play it. Instead, as we all know, Monopoly ruins families.

One of our executives has asked me to do some work which is keeping me busy as of late. I’ve been asked to do an application assessment to identify where we have duplicative systems in our environment that satisfy the same business capability but in different segements.

Essentially this work is a rehash of work that others have done months, if not years, ago; or are in process of doing. The main difference in what I’m doing is that I’m starting from scratch, and I’m not going very deep.

Everyone knows what the big duplicative systems are, and there are efforts underway to address them. Same for the smaller applications. Some of the other small ones have proven to have valid reasons for being separate even if they appear on the surface to be duplicative.

This is a total waste of my time/talents and it’s being done to satisfy the whims of exectives.

I’m living a Dilbert comic strip…

My long personal nightmare is over! The best pair of sunglasses I ever owned have been found!

Shown here in one of their last known photographs, the sunglasses were long assumed to have found a watery grave at the bottom of Lake Minnetonka, or had perhaps been unwittingly discarded at the side of some unknown ‘tonkan street. However, having some free time on my hands this week, I decided to perform one last hard targeted search of 3109 Atwater. Retracing my steps from last Labor Day, the sunglasses were found in amongst the bucket of wash cloths and assorted toiletries in the guest bathroom. Naturally.

This momentous occasion was then celebrated with the liberation of a Mexican Coke from the Beer Fridge. As you were.

That’s the pseudonym of the man behind @BPGlobalPR, which if you have not read it yet, is pretty brilliant. Here he’s speaking out against the inanity of BP trying to ‘protect their brand’.

“You know the best way to get the public to respect your brand? Have a respectable brand. Offer a great, innovative product and make responsible, ethical business decisions. Lead the pack! Evolve! Don’t send hundreds of temp workers to the gulf to put on a show for the President. Hire those workers to actually work! Don’t dump toxic dispersant into the ocean just so the surface looks better. Collect the oil and get it out of the water! Don’t tell your employees that they can’t wear respirators while they work because it makes for a bad picture. Take a picture of those employees working safely to fix the problem.”

Preach on, sir. Preach on.