If Sid Hartman says the Twins have no hope… well, I expect locusts to descend on Target Field shortly…

My favorite part of the Sid Cast is his rattling off the players who he doesn’t really know. “Ka-silla” for Casilla (Sid probably also says jah-lap-in-o for jalapeño). “That Japanese Guy” (Nishioka) . “Rookie in Center Field” (Revere). “Nothing player in left field” (Repko… and *ouch*). “Cap” (Capps – and I could maybe give Sid a break on that one, maybe that’s the nickname used the clubhouse…although knowing the Twins shouldn’t it be Cappy?)

Sid’s also down on the Wild, but has good things to say about the T-wolves. Maybe Sid is actually taking off the rose colored glasses now that he’s in his 90s… or perhaps it just cataracts.

The NBA crowned a champion on Sunday night, and the NHL will do the same on Wednesday (or possibly Thursday, if it goes to OT(s)). With the championships happening roughly at the same time every year, it got us to wondering – which sport does the championship ceremony better. The crew weighs in after the jump.

Alex:

I cherry-picked this subject a bit, because for me it’s no contest, but I wanted to write it out anyway. There’s no better celebration in sports than when Lord Stanley’s Cup hits the ice. As soon as the game ends, the winning team floods the ice in celebration. Then after a bit, both teams line up and shake hands, which is probably the best tradition in sports. After that, the commissioner presents the Conn Smythe for the MVP of the Playoffs. (Side note: if my hunch is correct, we’ll see how gracious the Canucks fans are in victory when the award goes to the goalie from the losing team, Tim Thomas.) (Side note #2: The Conn Smythe has gone to a member of the losing team 4 times in history – 3 of those were goalies.) Then, finally, the commissioner presents the Stanley Cup to the Captain of the winning team, at which point it gets passed around to each teammate in turn, usually, of age, or experience, or how long they’ve played without winning a championship. It’s an iconic moment. Mark Messier, who’d already won FOUR times, laughing hysterically when presented with the cup in 1994… Joe Sakic, holding the cup for all of two seconds before immediately giving it to Ray Borque (who’d played 1600+ games in his career without winning) in 2001. It’s an unbeatable moment. I look forward to watching it tomorrow night.

Contrast this with Sunday’s NBA Final. The clock hit zero, and Dirk (who was incredible in the series) ran off to the locker room to cry alone. Some of the players stood around and congratulated each other, but it was hard to tell much of anything else because the floor was rushed with hundreds of people so that they could set up a freaking stage for the champions. I’m not sure why they need a stage, but whatever, I guess. Then the commissioner presented the finals trophy to the owner of the winning team (which was actually a nice moment on Sunday, with Cuban having it presented to the founder of the Mavs, but still). Finally, the award for Finals MVP gets handed out, which seemed anti-climactic at that point. Ho-freakin-hum.

wadE:

I am not sure I can actually answer this question since the last time I bothered to watch the NBA finals through the end, including the ceremony, has to be the mid-90s. So I went out to ESPN to watch some of the clips. Outside of the Stanley Cup being the best trophy in sports the actual ceremonies are all the same. Someone from the network comes out and talks, turns it over to the commissioner, who then hands the trophy over to someone (either the MVP, Captain, Owner, Coach, etc.). I give hockey the edge here only because of the rituals involved with the trophy during the ceremony: captain getting the trophy first, each player skating around with the cup, drinking champagne from the cup. Basketball is probably the most boring, with football being next, then baseball, then hockey.

Wade A:

As mentioned on Tuesday, we were discussing writing a Gambit about our favorite on-air talent at the local sports-talk radio station, KFAN. This is that Gambit.

wadE:

Hi-Fi, the Big Ticket, Bump… the best KFAN host is Dan Barreiro. None of the other hosts/shows can cover so much ground; talking about sports, politics, and beyond. And he does his show with intelligence, wit, and even some low-brow humor from time to time. He’s been named “Best Sports Talk Radio Host” by City Pages in 2005 and 2006. He’s the only host on KFAN that can pull fans in from the other AM stations in town. The only negative thing I can say about the show is the sidekick, Justin Gaard. Gaardsy brings little to the table besides being a (not-so) smart-ass. Gaard does a fine job of steering Barreiro, but tries to get his own thoughts and opinions in too much. But despite that, I give Barreiro the edge over the Powertrip.

Wade A:

I started listening to KFAN in September of 1996, when I was a sophomore in college. The first show I heard was The Common Man show. I liked it. Common was and is a unique listen, and provided a good alternative to the only other sports talk radio I’d heard up to that point (Sid Hartman and Dave Mona). I kept listening to Common over the next couple of years, while gradually adding a couple of other national offerings from the station– The Fabulous Sports Babe in the mornings, and Ferrell on the Bench in the evenings. After college, I traded in those shows (and Common) for Bob Yates and Jeff Dubay in the mornings, and Chad Hartman and Dan Barreiro for the evening commute. Long story longer: I’ve listened to a lot of hosts and shows over the past fifteen years.

Coming in a close second is the Power Trip Morning Show. This is a surprise. When I started working at UHG in 2006, I was driving into work for the first time in six years, and didn’t think I’d enjoy Mike Morris and his bobos. Too much football. Too much AC/DC. Too many fart jokes. And, all of that was true. Oddly, though, I listened to them enough that I ended up liking the personalities enough that I could gloss over the content that wasn’t in my wheelhouse. Even though I’m back on the bus these days, I still listen to the Power Trip each morning as I’m getting ready.

The winner, though, is Dan Barreiro. Back in his Strib days, he was easily my favorite columnist to read. While a little negative for my tastes (he’s the anti-Sid!), his acerbic prose was thoughtful and enjoyable to read. That translated well to the radio, even moreso after Hartman moved to his own show in 2001. He spends at least half of his time talking about things other than sports, and talks intelligently about them. He can rant and rave, of course, but that’s not his normal style, unlike many national sports talk radio hosts. While famously long-winded, his questions to both athletes and non-athletes are probing and move well beyond the superficial. (Although, if he’s truly impressed by or enamored with a particular guest, he does get pretty soft– find his interview of Bill Cosby on KFAN.com as evidence.) What I like most of all, though, is how he combines a bit of arrogance with an honest self-deprecating style. I don’t find many people with that combination, and it’s why Mr. Barreiro is my pick.

Alex:

I’m not a huge fan of the sports talk genre in general, but I’ve found that most of the shows on KFAN work for me because they don’t involve callers to any large degree, instead relying on hosts, sidekicks, and guests. You know, actual talent. I don’t listen much, but I’ve found The Power Trip to be amazingly funny at times (and borderline unlistenable at others). I like Paul Allen’s bit. He’s consistent, and he has good guests. If you really want a Minnesotan treat, do yourself a favor and tune into The Fan Outdoors. It’s an ah geez dere extravaganza, like the movie Fargo come to life.

But I’m on board with these other two yahoos that the Dan Barreiro show is the cream of the crop. Consistently entertaining guests, interesting topics, and intelligent conversation, almost even more so when the topics aren’t sports-related. The Bump gets my nod of approval for sures.

We didn’t have a strong theme contender for the Gambit today, so I’ve opened up the floor for a sports grab bag. I suggested the topics of Buster Posey/Catchers blocking the plate (Wade A suggested this last week), and Ricky Rubio’s long voyage overseas, but we may also wander off the reservation a bit to other subjects too. Read on for some quick takes after the break:

wadE:

Are people actually still talking about Buster Posey? I just saw that Billy Beane told his catcher, Kurt Suzuki, to get the hell out of the way (http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=6613043). On one hand I see that as a ridiculous piece of advice from someone who should keep his mouth shut. On the other hand, it’s not a bad idea. What exactly is the point of a catcher blocking the plate? How much more effective is it than placing a tag? It seems that with a little time between the injury and now most people have calmed down and we shouldn’t see a rule change (thank god), but I also hope we don’t see more grandstanding by idiots like Billy Beane.

R-r-r-r-ricky R-r-r-r-rubio! The Spanish Conquistador will sail into Minnesota for the 2012… or maybe 2013 season if the NBA has a lockout. It seemed like this was inevitable over the past few weeks. Why risk a new rookie salary structure with a new collective bargaining agreement? As if on cue Rubio signed at the last moment on May 31st to lock in a max rookie deal. While his play over the past two years has not inspired the Wolves faithful, most scouts say he is the real deal and could be a great player. I won’t even begin to know the first thing about the NBA these days… if this were 1989 I’d speak with some confidence. All I know is the the T-wolves need something to put butts in the seats and hopefully Ricky will do that for more than a week whenever the next season starts.

Alex:

I’m torn on the Posey incident, (but not about the level of histrionics it’s inspired, although that’s a rant for a different time). On the one hand, a play at the plate and a collision can be one of the most exciting moments in baseball. (See this for reference – that play ended the 2003 NLDS.) On the other hand, this is no longer the 1980s, when baseball players weighed a buck-fifty, and the collisions weren’t as violent. I think overall I’m not inclined to want a rule change unless this kind of injury happens with more frequency, but neither would I think that a rule change is a terrible idea.

I’m going off topic for item two. So it appears that Alex Burrows bit Patrice Bergeron during last night’s Stanley Cup Finals game. Oh, Mr. Burrows. I know you’re one of those “love him if he’s on your team” types, but this is ridiculous. I would highly suggest that you play more to your talent (you’re on the Canucks top line!), and do less of what I’ll call heading down the Claude Lemieux career path. Because Darren McCarty types are out there too, Alex, and then you’ll have to turtle. You can always tell the turtlers, and I’d hate to see it end up there (of course, I’d enjoy watching it happen, too). I’m hoping this results in a one-game suspension and a wakeup call, but until Brendan Shanahan’s reign of terror officially commences, who knows what the discipline might be on this one.

Wade A:

BUSTER POSEY INJURED! REIGNING ROOKIE OF THE YEAR BREAKS LEG ON COLLISION AT THE PLATE! GIANTS PLAYERS SAY THE HIT WAS FAIR, BUT AT WHAT COST? IS IT TIME TO CHANGE BASEBALL’S RULES, WHICH HAVE BEEN IN PLACE FOR OVER ONE HUNDRED YEARS BECAUSE OF THIS CALAMITOUS, HORRIFIC OCCASION? POSEY’S AGENT SAYS SO, BUT HE’S CERTAINLY SPEAKING FROM AN UNBIASED POSITION. RIGHT?

That was the scroll at the bottom of the screen last Friday on ESPN 6. Or at least I assume it was. With at least two or three cable channels dedicated exclusively to sports news, the MLB Network, and however many ESPNs there are these days, finding enough content is an issue. Thusly, when a story like Posey’s comes along, they beat the hell out of it and generally make it much bigger of a deal than it deserves. Does the rule about blocking home plate (which is inconsistent with the rules governing every other base) need review? Maybe. Is Posey’s injury the reason it should be reviewed and, God forbid, changed? No. (As I joked to Alex and wadE, would we even be having this conversation if this had happened to Steve Holm or Rene Rivera?)

To quote the great philosopher Mike Tice: “Calm down… Calm down…”

I stumbled across a poll yesterday in our venerable news institution, the Star Tribune online. In it, they asked which Minnesota athlete was the “most iconic”, and gave the following options:

• Mikko Koivu
• Kevin Love
• Maya Moore
• Adrian Peterson
• Jim Thome

Read past the jump for our staff votes and editorials.

wadE:
Monty Brewster: What are you gonna vote?
Crowd: [in unison] None of the above!

What kind of shitty poll is this? Koivu? He’s not even an icon in Finland let alone Minnesota. Love? Call me when he wins more than 30 games. Moore? Hasn’t even played a minute here. Peterson? Close, on the cusp. Thome? Yes…if we were in Cleveland!

We all know the answer to this question is Joe Mauer. For better or worse he’s the most iconic pro athlete in the Twin Cities. Althought with only 34 at bats this year can you even call him a athlete? Anyway… we’re Minnesota. We’re as provincial as provincial gets. Local boy does good gets a lot of play here… especially when he does good here. The only way he could be bigger is if he switched it up and played QB for the Vikings… actually, he’d probably be the best QB on the roster if he did.

Wade A:

I agree with my finely named cohort’s assessment of the poll options: pick the best-known athlete from our professional sports teams (including the Lynx, of course) and nominate them, regardless of their iconic…ness…acity. Um. Right. Oh, except for the Twins– for them, pick the third- or fourth-most popular player on the team instead. (Editor’s note: I’m a big Thome guy. Love him. He’s got my theoretical vote for the Hall of Fame. But he’s had exactly one iconic moment in a Twins uniform. His inclusion makes zero sense.)

As much as it pains me to do twice in one gambit, I also agree with wadE’s take on the true most iconic pro in the Twin Cities: Joseph Patrick “Baby Jesus” Mauer. Who else would motivate thousands of fans to don faux sideburns in homage to his famous facial scruff? There have been more headlines featuring “bilateral leg weakness” than “Osama Bin Laden” in local newspapers. All three of my offspring own and wear Joe Mauer apparel. Why? Because that’s the only name they put on Twins gear for little people. (I do think Lil would look great in a Lombardozzi onesie, though. I’ll have to check eBay.)

Casting proneness to injury aside, Mauer is the easy choice. The only choice. However, when I look at the poll results today in the Strib, and see Adrian Peterson with twice as many votes as anyone else, I think Joe would’ve lost even if he’d been included. More than a provincial town, we’re a football town. And, given the Twins’ record this year… Go, um, Vikes.

Alex:
It’s a rare trifecta of agreeance here at the SP World Headquarters. There’s only one Minnesota athlete who gets to lip off to Kevin Butler. There’s only one Minnesota athlete who’s in a commercial with Troy Polamalu. There’s only one Minnesota athlete who’s an icon of any sort, and that’s Joe Mauer. Period. End of story. Jim Thome does have an ox in the batter’s box, though. I’ll grant you that.

Adrian Peterson is one of the best running backs in the NFL. That and a bag of chips will get you a bag of chips you can go eat with Barry Sanders, for all that being the best running back in the NFL is worth on its own. Kevin Love is one sexy outlet passer. [cf.]

Mikko Koivu is unquestionably the Wild’s best player, and MVP. They were well into playoff contention when he got injured this year, and the team promptly went straight into the crapper. (If they could get a few goal-scorers to help him out, that’d be fantastic, but that’s a different discussion.) Nevertheless, he’s not an icon.

Here’s what I will say: Maya Moore is the most likely person on this list to lead their teams to a championship any time in the next 3 years. It might not make her an icon, but at least she’ll be a winner.

In honor of the NHL Stanley Cup Finals being virtually upon us (and in the hopes of that being any sort of jinx to the Canucks), I asked the crew for nominations of their favorite Hockey Names. I intended it to be hockey players, of course, but wadE took it in a different direction (which I also liked). Read on after the jump:

wadE:
There is, er, was no better name in professional hockey than the Quebec Nordiques. French for “Northmen”, only Quebec could have a team with a French word as it’s team name. A perennial loser when they joined the NHL in 1979, courtesy of dispersal draft, they won the lottery in 1991 when they had the first pick in the draft and Eric Lindros was the consensus best player since Gretzky. Lindros refused to play for them, and the Nordiques were forced to trade him to the Flyers, who gave the Nordiques all the player they needed go on a 10 year run (culminating with a Stanley Cup win after a move to Denver and a change to the “Avalanche”). The Nordiques also had quite possibly the best (and by best, I mean worst) logo in sports history. http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/logos/logos.php?s=1992&t=47&sf Easily the best name (and logo) in the NHL.

[Ed: When apprised of the fact that I meant players, he then called dibs on Ron Tugnutt.]

Alex:
This ended up being more challenging than I’d expected, and not just in getting the spelling correct. So many wonderful names in hockey history: Guy Lafleur, Darius Kasparaitus, Haakan Loob … Mike Krushelnyski, Ruslan Fedotenko, even Jarkko Ruutu. But I gotta go with Esa Tikkanen, the only man in the league to have inspired his own language, Tikkanese! From wikipedia:

Tikkanen is famous for his Finnish-English, sometimes referred to as “Tikkanese” or “Tiki-Talk.” Even members of his team often did not understand what he was saying. Wayne Gretzky once commented, “He brings something special. I don’t know what it is, but if you ask him, you couldn’t understand his answer.” Former Edmonton Oiler coach and teammate Craig MacTavish said, “Esa talks twice as much as anybody else. That’s because you can understand just half what he says.”

Even fellow Finn Jari Kurri was not immune from the confusing language. During their tenure with the Oilers, Tikkanen let go with a particularly colorful pronouncement, after which another player turned to Kurri and asked, “What did he just say?” Kurri simply shook his head; “I have no idea.”

I’ve also heard Tikkanese described as “half Finnish, half grunt”. There’s also this, from the excellent euolgy of Pat Burns, written by Bob McKenzie:

…we were listening to a clip from then New York Ranger Esa Tikkanen, who was talking “Tikkanese” as only Esa could. We weren’t really sure what Tikkanen was saying because the words were all running together and Burnsie thought it was the funniest things he had ever heard. The only distinguishable things that came out of the interview for us were Joe Mansbreek and Gullen Gumble.

Burns said to me, “Who the (expletive) are Joe Mansbreek and Gullen Gumble?”

Having heard Tikkanese before, Hodge and I translated. “(Ranger goalie) John Vanbiesbrouck and (Ranger coach) Colin Campbell,” we told him.

Love it.

P.S. Team-wise, I’ll always have a soft spot for the North Stars logo.

Wade A:
Best hockey name, team edition: Philadelphia Quakers. The Quakers became the new name of the Pittsburgh Pirates (yup, we’re still talking hockey), after the team moved from Pittsburgh in 1930. Because of financial reasons, the team folded after one season. This probably wasn’t the worst thing in the world, as they finished with a record of 4-36-4, a mere 50 points behind the American Division-leading Boston Bruins in the standings. I just think it’s funny thinking about someone like this skating towards you:

Best hockey name, individual: Bill Houlder, 1987-2003 (various teams). Bill was a defenseman for the Buffalo Sabres during the ’93/’94 season, which is really the last year I knew who played on which team. (Thank you, SNES NHL ’94.) (“It’s in the game.”) Anyway, the only reason I picked him is because he spawned perhaps the wittiest nickname our little group has ever come up with: The Wallet.

Squirrel attacks Padres’ Bullpen.

Kahn defends ‘jokes’.

Charles Barkley: I had gay teammates.

A Harmon Killebrew Story.

Assorted commentary after the jump.

Alex:
Squirrel!

Who decides that picking up a squirrel with his bare hands is a good idea?

I love the Killebrew story, and Mark Rosen made it a point to say on the radio yesterday that he’d received email by the tens, maybe hundreds, that all related a similar story. What a great man – he will be missed.

Honestly, I think Barkley’s take is right on. There are right now, and probable have been for a long time, gay athletes in professional sports. I’m guessing at least some of their teammates know, and that most don’t care. Yes, there are insensitive idiots who still throw gay slurs around – they’re probably also making bigoted comments in general; some people are simply stupid. The people who would make a huge deal about it are the media, because (like Chuck said) society does still discriminate against gay people (as we know all too well here in MN right now). I would suspect that’s why no prominent athlete has come out yet, moreso than anything in the locker room.

wadE:
“I’ve got a dog that could take care of their SQ-earl problems…”

From the comments on the Killebrew story:
What a classic, touching story. I heard something similar recently about Joe Mauer and Michael Cuddyer, except Mauer promised the kid he’d ground out to second for him and Cuddyer promised to hit into a 6-4-3 double play. And they both did!

As for Khansie:
This is the first time I’ve actually liked Khan. The NBA is rigged, and the T-wolves got jobbed. Not over some smart-alec rich kid with a disease (although that does add to the charm of our reaming), but because LeBron thoroughly eviscerated the city of Cleveland… although with the Indians in first place, I don’t feel so bad for them anymore. Plus, I had missed that Khansie accused Beasley of smoking too much weed. I may be willing to give Khan a little more rope. Let’s see if he can get Rubio over here, and let’s see if we can be competitive in the next year or two. Besides, I’ve gone this long without giving a shit about the T-wolves… what’s another 2 years?

As for Chuck:
He’s right. Just about every player has played with or against someone who is gay. I was listening to KFAN on my drive into work and Morris said that he didn’t know it at the time, but he played with someone who is gay (Esera Tuaolo). However, I’m not sure that all players are ready for gay teammates. I am not saying a person should stay in the closet, but if a player comes out they shouldn’t expect it to be all rainbows and lollipops in the clubhouse. With that being said, the environment is far more friendly now than 20 years ago. I believe with in 5 years we’ll have our first active player (male) to come out the closet while still playing. It’ll be a big deal when it happens, and it will probably negatively affect that players performance on the field/court. But it will open the door and 15 years from now we won’t even remember what the big deal was about.

Is there anything more shameful in sports than the NBA draft lottery? Even Khansie knew the T-wolves were going to get screwed..

“This league has a habit, and I am just going to say habit, of producing some pretty incredible story lines,” Kahn said. “Last year it was Abe Pollin’s widow and this year it was a 14-year-old boy and the only thing we have in common is we have both been bar mitzvahed. We were done. I told [Utah General Manager] Kevin [O'Connor]: ‘We’re toast.’ This is not happening for us and I was right.”

I am surprised that the Wolves got 2 though… I assumed we’d get three since it’s a “two player” draft (Duke guard Kyrie Irving and Arizona forward Derrick Williams). This must mean that Stern is softening a bit on the Wolves after their illegal dealings with Joe Smith.

There is no sport that is more corrupt than NBA basketball. The players live paycheck to paycheck; not for lack of high salaries, but for careless lifestyles. The refs are corrupt; Tim Donaghe being the best example, but it’s widely believed that the NBA selects certain refs (cough cough Joey Crawford cough cough) to influence the outcome of games. Even Mark Cuban accused Stern of fixing games. And then there is the embarrassment that is the NBA Lottery. Going back to the Knicks unlikely winning of the number on pick, to the T-wolves who have never moved up in the draft, and more often than not have moved back.

And even if none of this is true, perception is reality. Until the NBA can prove it’s clean, it’s guilty. And I continue to have no interest in watching.

Fascinating article on Yahoo! Sports this morning. The gist of the story is that NFL Referees have the role of asking coaches to call timeouts to accommodate television network needs.

I’m not remotely surprised by this. If you’ve attended a number of professional sports games in person (and football is the worst) you’ll notice there is a lot of random downtime. When sitting at the Metrodome I’ve taken to watching a lot of the crew on the sidelines and the delicate choreographed dance they do to bring you the big game on your big screen TV.

At Vikings games my favorite guy on the field is a random person who wears bright orange gloves. Actually, gloves are the right word. Here in Minnesota we’d call them choppers. (Aside: surprisingly there is a page in wikipedia for choppers, but no detail yet. Essentially choppers are oversized mittens the go up the arm well beyond the wrist.) Anyway, this guy seems to be a director for some of the pauses on the field, and I think he wears those bright orange choppers so he can give hand signals that can be seen from a mile away (or in the upper deck nosebleeds where I sit).

Have you ever noticed when watching a game how the TV announcers will sometimes say, “And now we’ll go to Bob Jones, the PA announcer, to introduce Alicia Keys who will sing God Bless America”? And then on queue local PA guy does his intro. You can tell the networks are deeply involved in what goes on, but did any of us think it was to the extent.

It’s one thing to sit there waiting for the refs to give the ok to hike the ball after a commercial break, but it’s another thing to have the refs lobbying coaches to use unnecessary timeouts to create more ad revenue.

We’re way past the rabbit hole on this one…

I was all ready to write a long scathing post about how much I hate the NBA after the Timberwolves yet again failed to improve their fate in the famed NBA Draft Lottery.

But after thinking about it, and realizing that I’ve hated the NBA for more than a decade now, this one time out of the thirteen where the Wolves have gotten the shaft isn’t worth getting worked up about. So instead, check out this article by the Strib’s Michael Rand.

Enjoy.