In case you weren’t aware, the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts starting giving out the “Mark Twain Prize for American Humor” in 1998. The intent of the prize is honor an individual who has made a significant contribution to American humor.

I think we all would agree that criteria is vague, but over the first 12 years you got a good idea of who should be considered for the prize based on the recipients.

The first winner was Richard Pryor. Hard to argue this one. He was the inspiration for so many comics. He might be the only comic that Bill Cosby respects who swore in every other sentence on stage.

Next was Jonathan Winters. Most people younger than 35 don’t have any idea who Jonathan Winters is. Most people under 40 (like me) really only know him as Mork & Mindy’s child, or the weird guy who was occasionally on Johnny Carson. Regardless, a long storied career, very deserving of an award.

Other recipients: Carl Reiner, Whoopi, Bob Newhart, Lily Tomlin, Lorne Michaels, Steve Martin, Neil Simon, Billy Crystal, George Carlin (who sadly died 4 days after the announcement), Bill Cosby…

Then in 2010 the winner was Tina Fey. Really, you go from Bill Cosby to Tina Fey? Now don’t get me wrong, I like Tina Fey. I think she is funny and very talented. And I suppose she is an Emmy award winning writer and actor. She’s also a very successful woman in what has always been a male dominated business. Ok, I’ve talked myself into this.

However, this year’s winner is Will Ferrell. Funny guy… nearly single handedly carried (saved?) SNL in the late 90s… some very funny and successful movies. But I could say the same thing about Adam Sandler. About the only difference between the two is that Ferrell started FunnyOrDie.com… and he did a one-man show on Broadway about GW Bush… but otherwise damn near the same career. He hasn’t won any emmys or oscars or tonys… not even a Golden Globe.

Perhaps that point of the award is to honor current comedy stars. The Kennedy Center chairman was quoted as saying, “Will Ferrell is clearly one of his generation’s finest comedic performers.” This is true. And I suppose if you start a comedy award in 1998 you need to honor the past a bit before catching up to the present (like Lily Tomlin in 2003? She hadn’t done anything impactful for at least a decade).

Either way though… I can’t help but feel that an award named after Mark Twain, which Pryor, Cosby, and Carlin have won shouldn’t go to Will Ferrell. How does Will Ferrell win this award and Seinfeld is nowhere to be found?

Perhaps it’s a sign of the times. Awards, and society in general, has a shorter and shorter attention span and things need to be “more current” and “more relevant”. Maybe next year’s winner will be Jonah Hill.

The Minnesota State Fair has announced the new foods that can be found at this years fair. Last year I did a review of fair food, but it looks like I will have more work to do this year!

• Chocolate covered jalapeño peppers
• Not sure about this, but I’m willing to try it…
• Mexican horchata (cold drink made of rice, almonds, cinnamon, vanilla and sugar)
• I’ve heard of horchata, and I’ve heard good things, but if there isn’t alcohol in it, it’s not on my fair beverage radar
• Jamaican jerk fries
• Borrrr-ring
• Crab fritters
• Ok, now you’re speaking my language. Deep fried crab is in my state fair wheelhouse.
• Northwoods salad (a portable caprese salad)
• Salad? Really? Even if it’s on a stick, this new food is DOA.
• Dirt dessert (Oreo cookies, vanilla pudding, whipped cream, cream cheese and gummy worms)
• Sounds yummy, but this is something I can make at home… not worth the precious stomach space at the State Fair
• Sweet-corn ice cream
• I don’t have any desire to eat sweet corn ice cream, but it doesn’t get much more “state fair” than this. I gotta try it!
• Coushari rice with lentils
• Could be tasty… but at a middle eastern restaurant, not the State Fair
• Grilled chicken pita
• Quite pedestrian…
• Deep-fried cookie dough
• We’ve had deep fried cookies (although I curse Axel’s for taking them off their menu last year), so I’m ready for this!
• Terijaki chicken on-a-stick
• Yawn…
• Pretzel dog on-a-stick
• I am so down with this… in fact, I plan to have two!
• Grilled Yankee apple pie and chocolate sandwich (brioche filled with apples and spices covered in chocolate, grilled and topped with powdered sugar)
• Mmmmm… sounds like State Fair breakfast to me
• Breakfast lollipop (sausage patty deep-fried on-a-stick with a side of maple syrup)
• Ok, *this* sounds like a State Fair breakfast!

The fair is only 76 days away! I’m hungry and ready!

I know I’m a bit tardy in updating my state fair food cheat sheet, but this should still be helpful for 2011 and just for posterity’s sake.

As I stated in my Day 1 post, after exhaustive research, here’s my 2010 cheat sheet, with some comments on what I ate.

Axel’s (U-26)
New for 2010: Deep-fried cheeseburger sliders (cheeseburger batter-dipped and deep fried).
Verdict: In a word: greasy. But that is to be expected when you batter and deep fry a bun. I think if you could make them to order with bacon or pickles inside it would spice them up a little. Not bad, but not great.

Giggles’ Campfire Grill (V-13)
New for 2010: Chicken Fried Bacon (thick-cut bacon battered and breaded, fried and served in a boat covered with gravy).
Verdict: I was hoping for more of the batter to stick to the bacon, but what was there was yummy. The description online isn’t quite accurate regarding the “covered with gravy”. You actually get a small cup of maple flavored dip (which you could call gravy), that’s quite good and compliments the bacon. I recommend getting yourself some chicken fried bacon!

Midtown Global Market (V-31)
New for 2010: Camel on-a-stick, mango on-a-stick, African coolers.
Verdict: So I tried the Camel on-a-stick… how should I describe this? First off, it honestly looked like a turd on a stick. Lumpy, asymmetrical, vaguely fibrous, mostly dark brown with some minor flecks of different color. The taste…? Well… I still am having a hard time describing it. Imagines a coarsely ground sausage that was over cooked on the grill for texture. The flavor was reminiscent of a gyro but with a lot of spices (apparently to cover up the flavor of camel). Decidedly not good, but difficult to describe. Alex was the other person brave (or stupid) enough to take a bite. He described is as, “if Basil were a meat.” Needless to say, I would dissuade you from trying the camel on-a-stick.

Moe and Joes Coffee (N-30)
New for 2010: Grilled marshmallow, chocolate and banana sandwich
Missed: I’m sure it’s quite good, but it’s something I could make at home, so it’s hard to spend valuable state fair stomach real estate on this.

Netterfield Food Court (V-20)
New for 2010: Deep fried bologna served on-a-stick or on a bun
Verdict: I should have known better when I finally found the Netterfield Food Court. A collection of the brightly neoned cars you find in the midway at most fairs. Far too much of a commercialized/franchised operation. I’ll give them this much, the bologna was larger than a hockey puck, but it’s still bologna. No batter, just dropped in the fryer. Tasted like… well, bologna. Not worth your time or your 5 bucks.

O’Garas (W-24)
New for 2010: Sweet potato tots (tater tots made out of sweet potatoes), Danny Boy Burger (burger made with corned beef and covered with kraut, Swiss cheese and Thousand Island Dressing). Irish Soda bread served with cinnamon butter to enjoy here or a loaf to take home.
Verdict: I only tried the sweet potato tots. I really enjoy sweet potato fries dipped in blue cheese, so I was excited about these. However the tots seemed to be tossed in sugar and come with no dip of any sort. More along the lines of sweet potato pie than the savory snack I expected. Instead, try the blarney beans, and a pint of your favorite beer (16 or so on tap!)

Potato Man and Sweetie (J-27)
New for 2010: Deep-fried bacon cheddar mashed potatoes on-a-stick.
Verdict: Quite possible the blue ribbon winner of best new fair food. Better described as deep-friend bacon cheddar mashed potato nuggets on-a-stick, you get your choice of several different sauces (I chose sour cream, but you could get bbq sauce, ranch, and others). The nuggets were crunch on the outside, nice soft mashed potato on the inside, not greasy, and tasty. This is good enough to make my regular rotation of fair foods.

Sonnys Spiral Spuds (T-26)
New for 2010: Sloppy Joe served over a bed of spiral chips; Chocolate Tornado (tornado potato dipped in chocolate)
Verdict: Disappointing. If you’ve seen pictures, or saw the sample at their stand, you would expect a spiral cut potato with chocolate coating half of it. What we got instead was a soggy potato that was sitting in a puddle of water brown-ish (semi-transparent since the chocolate had separate from the oil in the sauce) liquid. Not remotely appetizing and not remotely good. I think the issue was that they freshly cooked the potato and therefore it was way too hot to receive any chocolate. Ideally they should salt the potato while hot, allow it to cool, then coat in chocolate and allow it to harden. This may not be the biggest waste of $5.50 in my life, but it’s close.

Also, for those of you who have picked up a Blue Ribbon Book, here are some good deals that I found:

Ball Park Cafe (S-25)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $2 off one order of garlic fries
Verdict: I have had these in the past and they are good. I’d probably get them instead of the ubiquitous fry stands around the fair.

Bridgeman’s Restaurants (J-28)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $3 off your choice of a brownie or muffin sundae
Missed: again, something I can get other places, but I still think would be worth trying. Maybe next year!

French Creperie (Q-26)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $2.25 off any $7 crepe
Verdict: We actually got one of these for breakfast on day one. We got a Nutella and marshmallow crepe. The crepe in and of itself was good. The Nutella was… hell, it’s nutella; if you like hazelnut chocolate you’re gonna love Nutella. The marshmallows were actual small marshmallows which didn’t have time to melt inside the crepe. They would be better off using marshmallow fluff. However, assuming you have the coupon, I would recommend picking up a crepe for your first meal of the day at the fair. Not quite worth $7, but definitely worth $4.75.

Luigi Fries (P-26)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $1 off one Luigi Italian Ice or buy one Luigi Italian Ice and get one FREE or buy one of the following Luigi food item, Luigi fries, Luigi hot dago-on-a-stick or Luigi deep fried peppers and receive a Luigi Italian Ice FREE
Verdict: I’ve had the hot dago-on-a-stick in the past. It’s essentially an Italian kebob with sausage and peppers on a stick. It was good, but mostly because it felt taboo eating something with a racist name. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnic_slur#D Can you imagine a food title Hot ____ on-a-stick with some of the other words on that list?

Vegie Fries (T-23)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $1.50 off one stick of vegie fries or potato onion fries or $1 off one vegie roll
Missed: didn’t actually hit this, even with a vegetarian in tow. Probably b/c our vegetarian is powered by cheese, and there’s plenty of cheese to be had at the fair. Speak of, we tried the deep fried cheese on-a-stick. It looks like a corn dog, and tastes like nacho cheese injected into a piece of corn bread. I would not recommend.

Last but not least, a few favorites:

Pork Chop on a Stick – Carousel BBQ (K-25) OR Pork Chops & Chicken (U-31)
Verdict: Fantastic! It feels far too simple (and something I could make at home), but it’s delicious and who is going to put their pork chop on a stick at home?

Milk – All The Milk You Can Drink (N-29) OR Dairy Town Diner (R-31)
Verdict: I actually haven’t gone to the all you can drink milk booth in years, for two reason: 1) a dollar? I can remember when it was 50 cents (and I’m sure other’s remember when it was a quarter, or even a nickel); 2) stomach real estate: by the time milk sounds like a good idea it’s because it’s the end of the day and we just grabbed a bucket of cookies. At that point in the day you are just about out of space and even a liquid sounds like a bad idea. But worth hitting if you’ve got the space for it, and aren’t lactose intolerant.

Spam Burgers (W-21)
Verdict: I’ve had the SPAM burger here, but I’d recommend the SPAM curds. They are deep fried little nuggets of SPAM and are quite good (assuming you like SPAM). My only complaint is this year they switch from a small tray to a larger cup for the curds which gives you a lot more curds for your money, but no place to put a dipping sauce.

Buffalo Burgers (H-24)
Inside Heritage Square in the southeast quadrant – Buffalo burgers, elk burgers (Giggles also has some quality buffalo and elk burgers)
Missed: As someone who regularly has buffalo and elk burgers at home this isn’t as exciting for me, but if you’ve never had either you should definitely give it a try and convert from your corn fed (or even grass fed) beef to buffalo or elk.

Tom Thumb Donuts
Verdict: Not as good as the Tom Thumb Donuts at the Mower County Fair, and I’ve tried both in one season. Even others who don’t have the nostalgia involved with my country fair have agreed that the ones in Austin MN are better than the State Fair. I attribute that to the probability that the one in Austin doesn’t clean their oil as they go from one county fair to another. Or much in the way that bagels taste better in New York because of the water, maybe it’s the water they use in Austin to make the batter that creates a superior donut? Regardless, the ones at the State Fair are still good and shouldn’t be missed.

Sweet Martha’s Cookies:
Verdict: If you’ve never had Sweet Martha’s Cookies at the State Fair then you haven’t been to the State Fair. For me it’s an annual tradition to get a bucket (yes, a bucket) of cookies as the last thing before leaving the fair. The goal is to eat down the cookies until you can put the lid on the bucket. You see, at Sweet Martha’s although you pay $15 for a bucket of cookies (really? $15? Martha, are your costs really getting that high? am I going to be paying $20 in a couple of years? much higher and no matter how good your damn cookies are I’ll need to find another tradition) that is piled well beyond the top of the bucket. This year I set a personal record of finding and flirting with the right girl to get a bucket that nearly had as many cookies above the top of the bucket as in the bucket. Best eaten fresh (or re-heated at home in the microwave) these cookies may not be the best chocolate chip cookies you’ve ever had, but they’ll be in your top three.

That’s it for this year. It’s only been a week since the fair ended and I already can’t wait for next year. One word of advice though: skip the camel.

Yesterday was Day 1 of the 2010 State Fair as well as Day 1 for myself. I’ll be attending again next Thursday. This isn’t because I have a undying love affair with travel to Falcon Heights, it’s because I’ve had/have inlaws in town who are fascinated with this unique slice of Americana.

I can’t fault them. It really is a place like no other. Where else can you find carneys, 1-ton families, U.S. Senators, marching bands, pro sports mascots, livestock of all types, and Boyz II Men for the low price of an 11 dollar admission?

At any rate, the people watching is second to none at the state fair but the best reason to go is the food. The fair’s website has improved every year with this year’s food finder being the best guide to gluttony on the face of the planet.

After exhaustive research, here’s my 2010 cheat sheet, with some comments on what I’ve tried so far. Hopefully I’ll hit the rest next week!

Axel’s (U-26)
New for 2010: Deep-fried cheeseburger sliders (cheeseburger batter-dipped and deep fried).
Verdict: In a word: greasy. But that is to be expected when you batter and deep fry a bun. I think if you could make them to order with bacon or pickles inside it would spice them up a little. Not bad, but not great.

Giggles’ Campfire Grill (V-13)
New for 2010: Chicken Fried Bacon (thick-cut bacon battered and breaded, fried and served in a boat covered with gravy).
Verdict: I was hoping for more of the batter to stick to the bacon, but what was there was yummy. The description online isn’t quite accurate regarding the “covered with gravy”. You actually get a small cup of maple flavored dip (which you could call gravy), that’s quite good and compliments the bacon. I recommend getting yourself some chicken fried bacon!

Midtown Global Market (V-31)
New for 2010: Camel on-a-stick, mango on-a-stick, African coolers.

Moe and Joes Coffee (N-30)
New for 2010: Grilled marshmallow, chocolate and banana sandwich

Netterfield Food Court (V-20)
New for 2010: Deep fried bologna served on-a-stick or on a bun
Verdict: I should have known better when I finally found the Netterfield Food Court. A collection of the brightly neoned cars you find in the midway at most fairs. Far too much of a commercialized/franchized operation. I’ll give them this much, the bologna was larger than a hockey puck, but it’s still bologna. No batter, just dropped in the fryer. Tasted like… well, bologna. Not worth your time or your 5 bucks.

O’Garas (W-24)
New for 2010: Sweet potato tots (tater tots made out of sweet potatoes), Danny Boy Burger (burger made with corned beef and covered with kraut, Swiss cheese and Thousand Island Dressing). Irish Soda bread served with cinnamon butter to enjoy here or a loaf to take home.
Verdict: I only tried the sweet potato tots. I really enjoy sweet potato fries dipped in blue cheese, so I was excited about these. However the tots seemed to be tossed in sugar and come with no dip of any sort. More along the lines of sweet potato pie than the savory snack I expected. Instead, try the blarney beans, and a pint of your favorite beer (16 or so on tap!)

Potato Man and Sweetie (J-27)
New for 2010: Deep-fried bacon cheddar mashed potatoes on-a-stick.

Sonnys Spiral Spuds (T-26)
New for 2010: Sloppy Joe served over a bed of spiral chips; Chocolate Tornado (tornado potato dipped in chocolate)

Also, for those of you who have picked up a Blue Ribbon Book, here’s some good deals that I found:

Ball Park Cafe (S-25)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $2 off one order of garlic fries

Bridgeman’s Restaurants (J-28)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $3 off your choice of a brownie or muffin sundae

French Creperie (Q-26)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $2.25 off any $7 crepe

Luigi Fries (P-26)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $1 off one Luigi Italian Ice or buy one Luigi Italian Ice and get one FREE or buy one of the following Luigi food item, Luigi fries, Luigi hot dago-on-a-stick or Luigi deep fried peppers and receive a Luigi Italian Ice FREE

Vegie Fries (T-23)
Blue Ribbon Bargain Book: Get $1.50 off one stick of vegie fries or potato onion fries or $1 off one vegie roll

Last but not least, a few favorites:

Pork Chop on a Stick – Carousel BBQ (K-25) OR Pork Chops & Chicken (U-31)

Milk – All The Milk You Can Drink (N-29) OR Dairy Town Diner (R-31)

Spam Burgers (W-21)

Buffalo Burgers (H-24)
Inside Heritage Square in the southeast quadrant – Buffalo burgers, elk burgers (Giggles also has some quality buffalo and elk burgers)

Tom Thumb Donuts

Tomorrow is the first day of the 2010 Minnesota State Fair. I will be in attendance and hope to get back on the SP bandwagon by giving a full rundown of the fair (both my visits this year) on the site, but in the meantime, thanks to Jill for sharing her annual Photo Scavenger Hunt.

I won’t be able to participate this year, but I’ll keep my eyes open. Here’s the list if you’d like to play along during your visit to the fair.

SCAVENGER HUNT
Rules/Directions:
1. Attend State Fair on date with your teammates of choice and fully-charged digital camera. Meet by Space Tower at X p.m. to receive your list of scavenger hunt items.
2. Run around, take photos, gather items, laugh out loud, have fun, and eat food (not necessarily in that order). Team members may split up but all photos must be on 1 camera.
3. Note that photos/items on the list can’t serve a dual purpose (e.g., Paper pig ears, although free, can’t earn points in both the “FREE Item” category and the “Headgear” category).
4. Return to Space Tower by X+1 p.m. to review your photos/items and determine your score. Extra points awarded in “Best Of” category are in sole discretion of Judge (bribes welcome).
5. Post-hunt revelry and award ceremony at nearby Leinie’s Lodge.

Team Name:

Team Members:

BEST OF
(Points awarded if fulfilled, with 1 extra point awarded to Team deemed Best in each category)

Photo Required

Best Mullet (aka Hockey Hair)/Best She-Mullet (aka WoMullet)
(Note: Permed mullets will be given priority in “best of” ranking)
4 pts ea.

Most Patriotic
4 pts

Best Throwback, you choose the year (e.g., Hammer pants, claw bangs, Farrah Fawcett, etc.)
4 pts

Most Bling/Flare
4 pts

Most Bizarre Handicraft (hint: visit 4-H Bldg, Fine Arts Bldg, crop art, etc.)
4 pts

Most Impressive Display of Tattoos or Piercings
4 pts

Best-looking carnie on the Midway
4 pts

Fair-goer toting Most Midway Prizes
4 pts

Best Display of “Goods” (Cleavage, Camel toe, Moose knuckle, Butt-crack?)
4 pts

Fair-goer displaying most fair food on clothes/face
4 pts

Most Impressive (or Objectionable) Hair/Facial Hair
4 pts

Most Outrageous Couple (e.g., mismatched, white trash, PDA, etc.)
4 pts

Most Creative Use of Spandex
4 pts

Wild Card – Doesn’t fit a category, but is definitely deserving of a photo
4 pts

SIGHTINGS

Photo Required

Celebrity (e.g., local media, Josh Hartnett, etc.)
Photo = 5 pts

Add Autograph = 10 pts

Politician
Photo = 5 pts

Add Autograph = 10 pts

Princess Kay of Milky Way, or one of her court members
Photo=5 pts

Photo next to her

Butter Sculpture=10 pts

Family all dressed alike
(Note: DOUBLE points if also a mullet family!!)
5 pts for each family member

Animal Curiosity (e.g., miniature horse, iguana, biggest pig)
5 pts

“I’m with Stupid”, mock tux, or “My [relative] went to [city/state] and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” t-shirt
5 pts

Visible thong, boxer shorts, or other noteworthy undergarment
5 pts

Live Birth at “Miracle of Birth” barn
5 pts

COLLECT ‘EM

Item Required

FREE item (e.g., plastic bag, yardstick, bumper sticker, etc.)
5 pts

Headgear
5 pts

Political Paraphernalia (e.g., buttons, posters, yard sign, etc.)
5 pts

Media Merchandise (e.g., KARE-11 fan, MPR magnet, etc.)
5 pts

Something on a Stick
5 pts

Photo of Team Member on the Giant Slide
5 pts

Team Member displaying Temporary Tattoo, Face Paint, or Hair Design
5 pts

Prize from the Midway
5 pts

Team Total:

The headline on Yahoo! News read: “Mass. mom mixed on FCC indecency ruling.” If you hadn’t heard, the 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that the FCC’s indecency policy on “fleeting expletives” was unconstitutional.

The writer of this article is a journalist (Pam Gaulin) who is also the mother of a 4-year-old child. She writes that she is pleased with the ruling as a journalist, but has mixed feelings as a parent.

What got me riled up about this article were the following two sentences:
I was disturbed at the number of people who were downright angry that parents want to protect their children from offensive language, stating parents should “get over it” and stop “mollycoddling” children because cursing is a part of life.
Cursing is not a regular part of our life and, as a parent, I absolutely want to protect my children. That protection includes inappropriate language on TV.

Party of my annoyance stems from the author’s “must protect the children at all costs” mentality. It is a prevalent thought in modern culture which I believe is doing all children a disservice. Contrary to her belief, swearing *is* a regular part of life. All human languages contain swear words. Research has shown that nearly 1% of all spoken words are swear words; on par with first person plural pronouns (we, us, our). It is a natural reaction to pain, and one study showed that swearing after hurting oneself acted as a pain reliever.

I may disagree with how this woman wants to raise her child, but I can understand her concern with exposing young children to swearing. I’m sure there is nothing more embarrassing for a parent than to have their pre-school child drop an F-bomb in pleasant company. However, it’s up to you to guide your child through life, not a government entity. Do your job as a parent.

The author states that she does monitor her young child’s TV habits very closely, but she has two older (11 & 16) stepchildren that have TVs in their rooms and can what whatever they want. But the author is concerned that the older kids might hear more swearing on TV, due to the ruling, and they may think swearing is acceptable. Again, if you are doing your job as a parent, they should be aware of your position on swearing. If you are that concerned, perhaps they shouldn’t have TVs in their room!

Even after all this 21st century parent whining I was willing to cut the author some slack. That is until I read this:
“[her young son] is not allowed to watch Boomerang. It shows old-school cartoons, and the characters wield guns and use violence to solve problems. The shows I don’t let him watch include ‘Tom and Jerry,’ ‘The Perils of Penelope Pitstop’ or ‘Wacky Races.’ Alex isn’t happy I’ve barred this channel because his father once let him watch, and he likes ‘Scooby-Doo,’ which is on Boomerang”

I wonder what her views are on video games like Grand Theft Auto?

And if that wasn’t enough she closes with the age-old:
“What’s most disappointing about curse words on TV is that the writers, if they tried to be more creative, could write better dialogue.”

Really? You’re going to go with the old “swearing is the lazy writer’s crutch” thing?

I hate to break this to her, but swearing is out there, and it always will be. At some point your child is going to hear it, and is going to say it. How you respond will define how your child views swearing. If it’s your personal moral view that swearing is inappropriate then it’s up to you to instill that in your children. And it’s up to them to embrace or ignore your guidance. What you call “protecting” your child is you doing your child an injustice. Don’t protect them, prepare them.

And quit your fuckin’ whining!

I’d like to paraphrase the 15-second promo for one of our news stations that I heard the other night. I feel that it captures the essence of how ridiculous Minnesota can get sometimes. (Picture these bullet points appearing on screen along with the perky anchorwoman.)

“Here are some of the stories we’re working on for [redacted] News tonight:

The woman who swerved and killed an 11 year old boy was drunk!

A man is accused of sexually molesting children in his mother’s own daycare!

And there’s a chance of rain all week!

Tune in at [redacted]!”

Detailed here: Two players, four turns, and according to the accompanying YouTube video, doable in 21 seconds.

Honestly, if this had any chance of happening on a consistent basis, I might be more inclined to play it. Instead, as we all know, Monopoly ruins families.

One of our executives has asked me to do some work which is keeping me busy as of late. I’ve been asked to do an application assessment to identify where we have duplicative systems in our environment that satisfy the same business capability but in different segements.

Essentially this work is a rehash of work that others have done months, if not years, ago; or are in process of doing. The main difference in what I’m doing is that I’m starting from scratch, and I’m not going very deep.

Everyone knows what the big duplicative systems are, and there are efforts underway to address them. Same for the smaller applications. Some of the other small ones have proven to have valid reasons for being separate even if they appear on the surface to be duplicative.

This is a total waste of my time/talents and it’s being done to satisfy the whims of exectives.

I’m living a Dilbert comic strip…

My long personal nightmare is over! The best pair of sunglasses I ever owned have been found!

Shown here in one of their last known photographs, the sunglasses were long assumed to have found a watery grave at the bottom of Lake Minnetonka, or had perhaps been unwittingly discarded at the side of some unknown ‘tonkan street. However, having some free time on my hands this week, I decided to perform one last hard targeted search of 3109 Atwater. Retracing my steps from last Labor Day, the sunglasses were found in amongst the bucket of wash cloths and assorted toiletries in the guest bathroom. Naturally.

This momentous occasion was then celebrated with the liberation of a Mexican Coke from the Beer Fridge. As you were.