I’d like to paraphrase the 15-second promo for one of our news stations that I heard the other night. I feel that it captures the essence of how ridiculous Minnesota can get sometimes. (Picture these bullet points appearing on screen along with the perky anchorwoman.)

“Here are some of the stories we’re working on for [redacted] News tonight:

The woman who swerved and killed an 11 year old boy was drunk!

A man is accused of sexually molesting children in his mother’s own daycare!

And there’s a chance of rain all week!

Tune in at [redacted]!”

Detailed here: Two players, four turns, and according to the accompanying YouTube video, doable in 21 seconds.

Honestly, if this had any chance of happening on a consistent basis, I might be more inclined to play it. Instead, as we all know, Monopoly ruins families.

My long personal nightmare is over! The best pair of sunglasses I ever owned have been found!

Shown here in one of their last known photographs, the sunglasses were long assumed to have found a watery grave at the bottom of Lake Minnetonka, or had perhaps been unwittingly discarded at the side of some unknown ‘tonkan street. However, having some free time on my hands this week, I decided to perform one last hard targeted search of 3109 Atwater. Retracing my steps from last Labor Day, the sunglasses were found in amongst the bucket of wash cloths and assorted toiletries in the guest bathroom. Naturally.

This momentous occasion was then celebrated with the liberation of a Mexican Coke from the Beer Fridge. As you were.

That’s the pseudonym of the man behind @BPGlobalPR, which if you have not read it yet, is pretty brilliant. Here he’s speaking out against the inanity of BP trying to ‘protect their brand’.

“You know the best way to get the public to respect your brand? Have a respectable brand. Offer a great, innovative product and make responsible, ethical business decisions. Lead the pack! Evolve! Don’t send hundreds of temp workers to the gulf to put on a show for the President. Hire those workers to actually work! Don’t dump toxic dispersant into the ocean just so the surface looks better. Collect the oil and get it out of the water! Don’t tell your employees that they can’t wear respirators while they work because it makes for a bad picture. Take a picture of those employees working safely to fix the problem.”

Preach on, sir. Preach on.

From this Newsweek article, about how photojournalists feel it’s possible that BP and the Coast Guard are being overly restrictive towards who gains access to the affected areas of the Gulf Coast:

Some Gulf Coast watermen find BP’s desire to limit press access obvious. “If there was a major fire in a warehouse, would you let reporters go inside and start taking pictures?” asks Peace Marvel, a charter-boat captain in Venice, La.

Pardon? I didn’t realize BP owned the Gulf of Mexico. Then again, I suppose with the massive profits they make, they probably could buy it. Nor is this an official dumb statement (though there have been plenty of those). I do think it’s fair to be skeptical about BP’s intent here – then again, I’m a skeptic by nature. Thoughts?