Confessions of a (Small-Time) Pop Culture Junkie

Ya ever see someone in a movie or on TV and think - where have I seen him/her/that coatrack before? I do it all the time. So does wadE, and the sister sibling. Wade A claims to not go to movies, but he's seen plenty on TV anyway, so he's kind of a help, even if he does quote the sanitized versions of the lines. Ask him about "Major League" sometime. More on that in a minute by the way, but I'm digressing already...

Anyway, I'm down to watching one night of television per week. Actually, that's misleading, I'm UP to watching one night of television per week when you consider the fact that last year I didn't watch any shows on a regular basis. It was a sweet life, but those days of nothing but Baseball Tonight and the internet to keep me company are over, for I have been hooked on Tuesday Night Television. That's right, I now watch "Gilmore Girls" and "24" on a regular basis, even going so far as to use a contraption called a V-C-R to record the shows when I'm not around for viewing at an unspecified future date. To momentarily become wadE and quote Yakov Smirnov - "America! What a country!"

Of course, nothing in my life is ever as simple as that. Before too long I find out that my sister watches both those shows as well. This is disaster waiting to happen, a flood of in-jokes and useless information is sure to ensue. Sure enough, I'm now unable to watch either of these shows without giggling at inappropriate times due to all the crap that flows through my brain. I willingly share all this information with you, gentle reader, and if you are able to follow along without the aid of a flow chart, I applaud you. Here's a glimpse into my insanity:

One of Gilmore Girls's lead characters is played by actress Lauren Graham. The sister sib can't place what she's seen Lauren in before. I oblige that she's probably seen Lauren's turn as a far more insane version of her Lorelai character on NewsRadio, where she played a consultant-slash-arsonist. Come to think of it, it might have been wadE who asked me that. Either way...

Quickie tangent: wadE and I debated whether or not Wade A was a Lorelai man, or a Rory man. We both suspected Lorelai. I've come to learn that he answers "neither" to the question, and instead chooses... Paris? Yikes. Who knew?

Grampa Gilmore is played by actor Edward Hermann. At Mr. Hermann's first appearance on screen, wadE makes a Dodge Durango joke, instantly cementing him as the pitchman for Dodge trucks in a line of commercials they ran a few years back, as well as the classic movie "The Lost Boys", starring Jason Patric, both Coreys (Haim and Feldman), Jamie Gertz, and of course, Kiefer Sutherland. More on him in a bit. The sister sib chimes in that he was also Herman Munster. wadE throws a fit at this, knowing that it was Fred Gwynn who played Alpha-male Munster. Turns out they're both right - Gwynn got the big C a few years back and passed on, leaving Hermann to play the role in the "reunion" made-for-tv movie. (So wadE wins, slightly, for being old-school, if nothing else.)

There's also Alexis Bledel, who's so captivating she almost got me into the movie theater this summer to watch something called "Tuck Everlasting". I think it was about singing parrots, but I could be mistaken. I could also not care, and should probably move on.

On to 24, where Kiefer is out to avenge the death of his wife, and save the city from a bomb. Where do you even start with Kiefer? You could make a "Flatliners" joke... a "Dark City" joke... an ever-popular Code Red/"A Few Good Men" joke... a "Young Guns" joke... I prefer to just keep it simple and call Tuesday night my Lost Boys reunion night. Which of course means I tend to blurt out "Join us Michael!" in a bad Kiefer impression from time to time.

Kiefer is acting under orders from the President, played quite capably by actor Dennis Haysbert. Haysbert, the sister informs me by email one night, played inconsistent slugger and voodoo practitioner Pedro Cerrano in the movie "Major League". In addition to the plethora of jokes and Charlie Sheen references this opens up, it also opens the floodgates to all of Cerrano's lines. I've latched on to the scene where he steals the headcovers from Corbin Bernson's golf clubs, stating "Hats... for bats... keeps bats warm...". Have I mentioned I'm insane?

So, President HatsForBats has an advisor, an aide, something... older gent, looks awfully familliar. The sis and I toss around a few ideas, nothing's quite working. Then she sends me a site, saying "is this him"? I cross-reference at trusty imdb.com - sure enough, it's actor Harris Yulin. You, like me, probably have no idea who Harris Yulin is by name. Unfortunately, one of his credits brought back too many memories. That's right, he's the cranky old judge in Ghostbusters II - the one who gets so mad at the "slime" that it brings back the ghosts of two brothers that he sent to the chair. Yep... so... now when I see him on-screen, I get to mentally hear him say "It's the Scolari brothers!", and think of Rick Moranis, the guy from Ally McBeal saying "Why am I all drippings with goo?", and the unforgettable (regrettably) Bobby Brown theme song.

(And you thought Wade A's obsession with MC Skat Kat was bad.)

There's also Sara Gilbert. Like the sis says, they should have just called her character Darlene, because that's who she is, she's Darlene from Roseanne, and it doesn't even matter what else she does at this point. We're supposed to believe that Darlene has died in a bombing at this point, although I'm sure there's the possibility that she'll have miraculously pulled through and will pop up later in the season to scream "DEEJ" at us.

And we haven't even gotten to the surprise guest stars yet. Last year it was Dennis Hopper. This year... well we don't know yet. Personally, I'm hoping for Donald Sutherland. I'm itching to make a good "Backdraft" reference...

Yeah, so that's my Tuesday night, and a glimpse into my madness. If you're annoyed by things like this - I suggest never ever going to see a movie with me. I might threaten to cut your heart out with a spoon, and expect you to understand that Alan Rickman once played the Sherrif of Nottingham.