An e-mail discussion about the wave (spurred on by this post) with the other SP yahoos reminded me of a list I compiled for sparklegirl several years back before a Twins game. She was wondering about behavior expectations at a baseball game, and, being a dork, I came up with a list. From what I can remember, here is Wade’s Rules for Proper Baseball Game Attendance Etiquette. (Or, y’know, WRPBGAE.)
+ No wave. It’s not as cool as you think it is. If you must, do it without getting out of your seat and disrupting my view of the game. Exception: Kids. (Mostly because they’re short.)
+ No cell phones.
+ If you happen to catch a foul ball, give it to the littlest person around you.
+ If you happen to catch a home run from the opposing team, do *not* yield to the “throw it back” chants. That’s both silly and reductive (the Cubs started it). If you feel the need to get rid of it, see the above rule.
+ Wait until the half-inning break to leave and come back to your seat. This might actually be the cardinal rule for me. My reaction ranges from the stinkeye to under-the-breath “RUDE,” depending upon how much beer I’d consumed by that point.
+ Have the correct change for the vendors who sell food and beverages in the aisles. Also: Tip generously.
+ Don’t wear apparel from opposing teams or other sports leagues. Twins apparel is encouraged but not mandatory.
+ Don’t leave until the game is over. Exception: When you’re with your kids. (Mostly because it’s too expensive to keep plying them with popcorn and ice cream for three hours.)
I hope this doesn’t come off as curmudgeonly. I simply feel that one’s behavior at a game should be respectful of the people who want to actually watch the game. I’m all about the between-inning tomfoolery. Your Kiss Cam. Your Twins Triva. (Really Trevor Plouffe? You admit that “Jersey Shore” is your favorite reality show?) Your Bon Jovi sing-along. Just keep it down during the actual game-play itself; I’d like to see Nishioka strike out in peace.