In my opinion the movie went wrong is focusing on the “exception” rather than “the rule,” but “the rule” doesn’t make for a very good romantic comedy. You see, the rule is if he (or she) doesn’t call, write, or ask you out then he (or she) is just not that into you. The “exception” occurs when one is playing games or when one grows the hell up and realizes that Disney isn’t reality, that they are worth being loved rather than played, and that sticking around with someone who is “just not that into you” is a waste of time for both parties. Breakups, while painful and personal, just mean there is another fish out there who is more into your bait (or something like that).

Where I thought I had a lot of luck during the dating years is my willingness to go out on one date with just about anyone who had the guts to ask and my ability to ask people out and recover from rejection by asking the person next to him out. This was definitely not “playing by the rules” and it came with a laundry list of good stories and battle scars. It was accepting that just because someone was not that into me doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with me, or him. It is understanding that someone might not create a spark on the first meeting, but giving them a chance on a date could yield something more. There are 6 billion people in this world; chances are we’ll all bump into a few that aren’t a good match.

This all requires “getting out there.” Far too many women I knew during my dating years thought I was crazy, a slut, had low standards, went out too much, blah, blah, blah. They were waiting for their Disney Moment, that knight and shining armor to show up at their apartment door, whisk them away, and live happily ever after. This always made me laugh; unless they were interested in the pizza delivery guy that was never, ever going to happen.

A note to your female readers: I met wadE in a bar; it wasn’t romantic, we didn’t have a spark, he was cute enough to approach and chat with but otherwise wasn’t “my type.” We hung out, became friends, shared laughs, dated other people, and somewhere along the way realized “wow.” We could have easily brushed each other off because we weren’t the other’s “type” (admittedly I thought he was cute enough for a little fun but didn’t fit my tall, skinny, and dark template). It took us a while to develop our happy ending; if we would have rushed into becoming “exclusive” we would have quickly extinguished any chance. We did not have the love at first sight Disney relationship, but I’m pretty happy we got to know each other anyway….