Welcome back to the NHL, Claude Lemieux. It’s been 5 1/2 years, and you started this season in China. If you can manage to not get killed, could you do me a favor tonight and Draperize Alex Burrows for me? He’s just a lesser version of you, and no one will miss him. I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.

I do like the predictable way with which the Detroit paper starts their coverage of the situation. I’m disappointed that they couldn’t wring a quote out of Dino, though.
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that’s how many days until pitchers and catchers report to spring training. and not a moment too soon, really. as such, a few baseball-related nuggets for a historic tuesday.

+ according to LENIII, the twins appear close to signing reliever eric gagne. this would have been better news back in 2003, when gagne was in the middle of a three-year run as (arguably) the most dominant closer in the game. since then, things have gotten a little less rosy: Tommy John surgery, a subsequent elbow surgery, back surgery, an awful stint with the Red Sox, being mentioned in the Mitchell report, and a bad 2008 with the brewers in which he lost the closer’s role in may and posted an ERA of 5.41. however, he seemed to regain some decency after the all-star break, with 20 Ks in 27 innings and a WHIP of 1.07.

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Hat tip right off the bat to Matt Cassamassina’s video games blog over at IGN. Major kudos for finding this . . . ahem . . . gem.

I don’t even know if I can write coherently on this subject. If you’ll simply navigate your way to the website for Crystal Head Vodka (yes, seriously), you’ll be treated to a video featuring none other than Dan Akroyd. He will talk about the paranormal, the crystal heads, . . . he’ll talk a lot. And quite honestly it sounds like the best damn informercial you’ll ever see. Because it is. As Dan pours himself a shot of what he refers to as “Triple-Herkimer-Diamond-Filtered, Newfoundland-Deep-Aquifer-Pure-Spirit Vodka”, I’m sure you’ll agree. Go watch this video. Now.

Besides… IT’S VODKA! IN A GLASS HEAD!