Twins sign former All Star!
Well, ok, they signed this guy.
Thankfully, it was only to a minor-league deal, as would befit a guy with less than a thousand plate appearances in the bigs. Other things that stand out from his Baseball Reference page:
One of his similar batters is Scott Stahoviak.
One of his most similar by age is Doug Mientkiewicz.
Practically a who’s who of former Twins with more consonants than talent. You’ll excuse me if I imply that this signing makes Rondell White look exciting.

December 13th, 2006
he may have been injured the past couple of years, but i loved watching his show on the WB.